Zapp Brannigan Quotes
Zapp: Kif, I'm feeling the captain's itch.
Kif: I'll get the powder, sir.
Zapp: No, the itch for adventure! Prepare to change course.
Kif: Sir, this is a leisure cruise. Our path was set by the travel agency.
Zapp: That's for schoolgirls! Now here's a route with some chest hair.
Kif: But that course leads directly through a swarm of comets.
Zapp: Yes, comets! The icebergs of the sky.
Kif: Sir, remember your course correction?
Zapp Brannigan: No.
Kif: Well it's proving somewhat more suicidal than we'd initially hoped.
Leela, perhaps this is an awkward time but if things don't work out with this pipsqueak here... I just want you to know I'll be there to score you on the rebound.
Zapp: Your attention, please. As captain of this vessel, the terrible burden of naming a limbo contest winner is mine and mine alone.
Kif: Shouldn't you be steering between the comets?
Zapp: And the winner is, Leela!
Leela: But I didn't even limbo.
Zapp: No matter. I know from personal experience how horizontal you can get.
I like your style, Fry. You remind me of a young me. Not much younger, mind you. Perhaps even a couple of years older.
As a gentleman, I must warn you. If you so much as glance at another woman, I'll be all over Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manure.
Leela: What are we gonna do? Fry can't pretend to be both our boyfriends.
Fry: Sure I can. I learned how to handle delicate social situations from a little show called Three's Company.
Zapp: I'd like to impose a toast on the happy couple. Down the hatch!
Mrs. Wong: Hear, hear! Now let's have a kiss!
Zapp: Yes, Fry. Plant one on your woman.
Fry: Um, let me think. Come and knock on our door, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh. Uh, Mr. Roper-
Mr. Wong: What's the hold up? Kiss my daughter already!
Farnsworth: Wait, I'm confused. Now tell me, Fry, which one of these ladies are you involved with?
Fry: Uh... (He hums the theme to Three's Company again)
Kif: Captain, may I have a word with you?
Zapp: No.
Kif: It's an emergency, sir.
Zapp: Come back when it's a catastrophe.
Zapp: Kif, old friend, I don't know which disgusts me more: Your cowardice or your stupidity! We'll simply set a new course for that empty region over there. Near that black-ish hole-ish thing.
Zapp: Don't blame yourself, Kif. We were doomed from the start. Nothing remains now but for the captain to go down with his ship.
Kif: Why, that's surprisingly noble of you, sir.
Zapp: No, it's noble of you, Kif! As of now... you're in command. Congratulations, captain!
Leela: Look, I'm going down to Vergon 6 to save those animals whether you like it or not.
Zapp Brannigan: Go ahead. I won't stop you.
Leela: Threaten all you-- Wait. What?
Zapp Brannigan: We both know you won't make it halfway to Vergon 6 before the craving sets in. Then you'll come crawling back for another taste of sweet, sweet candy... bam!
Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
