Peter: Oh guys, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Lois is the only woman for me. Joe: Well it sounds like you've gotta find a way to win her back. Quagmire: Yeah, like, like we could get her drunk and take turns having sex with her. Peter: How would that help me? Quagmire: Oh, help you? Oh oh, yeah yeah, then no... no then, then that wouldn't help you.
Peter: Hey, hey I got an idea. Let's play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing the person says they never did. Cleveland: Oh I got one. I never slept with a woman with the lights on [Quagmire, Peter and Joe drink] Joe: I'll go next. Uh, I never had sex with Cleveland's wife [Quagmire and Cleveland drink to this] Peter: Alright let's see. Uh, I never did a chick in a Logan Airport bathroom [Quagmire drinks... cuts to a bunch of empty beers] God! Let's see, what else is there? Um, I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. Quagmire: Oh god! [drinks] Joe: I uh, I never picked up an illegal alien from Home Depot to take home and choke me while I touch myself. Quagmire: Oh come on! [drinks Peter: Uh, I never did the same thing, but with someone from Jo-Ann Fabrics. Quagmire: Oh god! This is ridiculous! [drinks and passes out]