Tom Tucker Quotes
Season 11, Episode 18: "Total Recall"
Tom Tucker: For those of you who turned out to see my stand-up comedy debut at Zany's last night, I again apologize for what I said about Moroccans.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 11, Episode 10: "Brian's Play"
Tom Tucker: Do you know who I am? I'm Tom Tucker, dammit! I make more in an hour than you make in two hours!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 11, Episode 9: "Space Cadet"
Tom Tucker: So the Griffins might be dead, how does that make you feel?
Consuela: Griffin dead? I take. (Picks up house from foundation, drags behind her)
• Rating: Unrated
Season 11, Episode 5: "Joe's Revenge"
Tom Tucker: Briggs reportedly escaped during a prison open house, an event that will most likely be canceled in the future.
• Rating: Unrated
Tom Tucker: A police spokesperson was quoted as saying "Duh, I'm a dumb cop, I like to give Tom Tucker a ticket." I was going like 41.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 11, Episode 3: "The Old Man and the Big 'C'"
Tom Tucker: The hilarious video already has over 2 million views on YouTube. Comments range from sympathy, all the way to racial slurs directed at those who chose to comment.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 10, Episode 23: "Internal Affairs"
Tom Tucker: That's right, Joyce, apparently there were over 100 kilos of cocaine right here in Quahog. And yet my guy can't get d**k.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 9, Episode 6: "Brian Writes a Bestseller"
Tom Tucker: Wish it, Want it, Do it. Am I pronouncing that correctly?
• Rating: 3.4 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 5: "Baby, You Knock Me Out"
Tom Tucker: Coming up next? A boxing match where boxers are bleeding before the fight.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 2: "Excellence in Broadcasting"
Tom Tucker: Hi, I'm Tom Tucker. Where's Diane, Ollie?
Ollie: She dead!
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 49