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He loves a tree in Oregon more than he loves you. But he can't have sex with it. Unless it's that slutty oak outside Portland.

House

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Dr. Gregory House Quotes, House Season 5 Episode 21 Quotes, House Quotes
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House Season 5 Episode 21 Quotes

The only kind of mothering House wants involves a bullwhip, leather diapers, and a credit card.

Dr. Foreman

Dr. Cameron: I owe him a favor. He's taken about a dozen of my referrals over the last year.
Dr. Chase: I meant so that's five seconds to hand House the file, 30 for him to question your real motives, a minute for witty comments comparing the length of your legs to Thirteen's... plenty of time left over for the shore.