Hey, do you think Jess would be mad if I got a turtle and named ...
Nick: Hey, do you think Jess would be mad if I got a turtle and named it Jess â€” even though I had that name picked out before she moved in?
Schmidt: A turtle?
Nick: Thinkin' man's best friend, Schmidt-y.
Schmidt: In our home? Over my turtle disease-ridden dead body.
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