J.D.: I wrote Dear Abby once in seventh grade 'cause I didn't have body hair like the other guys? By the time her response came out in Parade magazine, it was like a forest down there. Well, you know, "nothing ventured..."
Dr. Cox: Looking for streamers and a marching band, because this will be the ceremonial one-millionth time I've had to shake off something that you've said. Ahh. Yes, Newbie, I'm having a tough day. And of course I'd love to head home, but Jordan's satanic brood has taken over my apartment and no man in his right mind would dare enter that place.
J.D.'s Narration: Hmm, I should probably go to his place...