2 Broke Girls Season 1 Quotes
A pill! Could be birth control, could be XTC, waiting for a day off to find out. Why wait? [swallows pill] If I start touching your hair in an hour, don't let me have sex with anyone!
Max
Max: Yes, I'm her registered emotional companion.
Leo: Well, this is a legal proceeding and that's a highly unusual request.
Caroline: But not improbable. We googled it.
Max: Yeah, she's allowed to have an emotional companion as long as both attorneys agree.
Leo: Well, I graduated top of my class at Harvard. But, since you googled it, I'll try to make that happen.
Caroline: What's the point? Clearly, I've already lost the game of life, 'cause I'm sitting in a drug trial waiting for my "A" to "L."
Max: Well, if your "A" does start to "L," you're on the bottom bunk.
Max: Well, bottoms up.
Caroline: Max, don't say that after anal leakage.
Max: It'll be fun. Just think of it as a middle school sleepover.
Caroline: With Drugs
Max: Yeah, a middle school sleepover.
Anything I can do to help? I'm pretty courtroom savvy. I mean, I haven't seen every episode of 'Law & Order.' Just, like 400 of them.
Max
Max: Are you sure you didn't represent the woman who ate her child?
Leo: I've never represented anyone who ate their child ... on 'Law & Order.'
I was not talking hot. I was apologizing. She's still angry I left home. She thinks I'm freewheeling American who takes drugs and has intercourse with dirty Kardashians.
Han
You need to stop freaking out because you're not where you thought you would be, in life or in our business. It's real life, lower your expectations.
Max
Michael: I love her, so Madeline Stowe in Revenge.
Caroline: I don't watch that.
Stephen: We love it.
Michael: It's about a young blonde woman who is taking revenge on all the people who destroyed her life.
Caroline: Yeah, too close to home.
Earl: The guys in booth 2 just asked Han if he was on the down-low, they think he's gay.
Max: That's a step up; usually people think he's a lesbian.
Caroline: Oleg, what are you doing here? And you put the "Oh No" in Komono.
Oleg: Sophie is letting me have sex with her; I came down to borrow sensual oils, preferable ones you can eat.
