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Liz: Have you ever updated your Flash player? It is so sad. What happens to version 11.4?
Jack: Oh, what now?
Liz, yelling: I'm taking hormone shots to have a baby you son of a bitch!

Are you doping, Liz Lemon? That stuff will shrink your testicles, but there are bad side effects as well.

Tracy

Tracy: Point is, I won't be at rehearsal all this week.
Liz: No, Tracy!
Tracy: Exactly. No Tracy. Thanks for being so understanding.

Liz: You are not the center of the universe, Jenna.
Jenna: I am too. I'm the moon.

Colleen: My father did not kill dozens of Germans so that his daughter could die in a van.
Jack: But he wasn't even in the war.

I didn't trust that scout master. He was always wearing shorts.

Colleen

Liz: Listen Jenna, I didn't mean to steal your thunder.
Jenna: My whole life is thunder.

As long as she's in New York, I'm doing absolutely nothing. I got the idea from watching your President Obama the last four years.

Jack

The woman's constant disapproval of me will keep her alive...forever.

Jack

Oh my goodness, the ceremony will be broadcast on Lifetime, oh dot com, backslash garbage file?

Liz

Liz: I'm 42, Cerie.
Cerie: I don't know what that is.

Tehnically I am an A-Lister now, because I was on A List to date Tom Cruise.

Jenna
Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 1442 in total

30 Rock Quotes

Happy Holidays...is what terrorists say. Merry Christmas- Avery and Jack.

Avery

Jack: You are both a disgrace to the Donaghy name!
Jack's Dad: It's pronounced "Don-a-fee," you lace-curtain half-an-Englishman!
Jack: When I think of all the things that I've been holding inside me that I wanted to say to you... [raises fists] Well now I'm gonna let "Saint Patrick" and "Saint Michael" DO MY TALKING FOR ME!
Jack's Dad: [raises fists] You'll have to get through "Tip O'Neill" and "Bobby Sands" first!
Eddie Donaghy: You call those fist names?! [raises fists] Say hello to "Bono" and "Sandra Day O'Connor!"
Jack: Those are the stupidest fist names I've ever heard.