If it's positive, awesome! We're having a baby. I wanna name it Frisbee. If it's negative, awesome. We're not gonna fight about the name Frisbee, and we get disco fries for breakfast, because we're sad.

Criss

Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that pushup last year for nothing!

Liz

I would slap you if I didn't think it would lead to a kiss.

Hazel

I brought you back from the dead, and revived your career.

Jack

Delightful Charlie Chaplin. You have the mustache and everything.

Kenneth

Deviousness? I guess two can play at that game. Just like most games.

Liz

Shut up, Pete. There's no hope. Not for you or for this country. If Joni Mitchell were here, she'd be like, 'The big man won't give peace a chance, the cobblestones, cobblestones.

Liz

Liz: How do you sleep at night, Jack?
Jack: I don't. I take thousands of micro-naps during the day.

You want to be an American. You fill out that ballot because you don't know what you're doing.

Tracy

Let me tell you who we have. Craig T. Nelson, Chuck Norris, and Charlton Heston's skull. You'd be the only cool Republican.

Jack

Every pair you buy, they give a pair to a child who was forced to work in the factory that makes these shoes.

Liz

She's aging, mean, and rich. That sounds Republican to me.

Jack

30 Rock Quotes

Fine, I will try the other location. But frankly, LaDonica, you have not been real helpful.

Kenneth

I believe that when you have a problem, you talk it over with your priest, or your tailor, or the mute elevator porter at your men's club. Then you take that problem and you crush it with your mind vice. But for lesser beings, like curly haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help.

Jack