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That lady you European-kissed last night was actually a gentleman.

Kenneth

Good lord! The worm ... that's so degrading. Are its origins German?

Jack

The crab is getting aroused. Shut it down. Shut it down!

Jack

Television on! Pornography!

Tracy

Jack: Lemon, I would like to teach you something. I would like to be Michelle Pfeiffer to your angry black kid who learns that poetry is just another way to rap.
Liz: No, Jack. I don't want to learn about negotiation. I just want Josh to stay. The show needs him.
Jack: Lesson number one: you don't need anyone. Sure, Josh tests well with female viewers 12 to 24, which is important to advertisers because young women will buy just about anything.

These sunglasses have a chip in them that makes the lenses change color as my iPod loses power!

Cerie

Liz: Wow, this is an... honor. I have a friend who is number four on Maxim's list of "The Sexiest Women in Comedy."
Jenna: Thanks. At first I was mad that Jessica Simpson was ahead of me, but then I saw The Dukes of Hazzard. Funny!

Remember that e-mail we got from those Nigerians who need our help getting that money out of Africa? We did it! I got the check today.

Tracy

Liz: And by the way, what kind of a moron calls in sick and then comes to work to have a meeting?
Josh: I get an NBC discount here.
Liz: Idiot!

This ought to prove my mother wrong, saying Donaghy is Gaelic for failure. What the hell does she know, she's a Murphy; Bunch of mud farmers and sheep rapists.

Jack

Jack: Steven's good, man, he's on partner track at Dewey and he's a Black.
Liz: A black!? That's offensive.
Jack: No, no. That's his name. Steven Black... good family. Remarkable people, the Blacks, musical, very athletic, not very good swimmers. Again I'm talking about the family. Black is African-American, though.
Liz: Well I don't care about that.

Ridikolus: What's your game?
Kenneth: Boggle.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 174 in total

30 Rock Season 1 Quotes

Tracy: The Black Crusaders are a secret group of powerful Black Americans. Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey are the chief majors, but Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell and Gordon from Sesame Street, they're members, too, and they meet four times a year in the skull of the Statue of Liberty. You can read about that on the Interweb.
Liz: Ah, well, it must be true if it's on the "Interweb."

Jack: Are you familiar with the GE tri-vection oven?
Liz: I don't cook very much.
Jack: Sure... I gotcha. New York, third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says "healthy body image" on the cover, and every two years you take up knitting for ... a week.
Pete: That is dead on!
Liz: What, are you going to guess my weight now?
Jack: You don't want me to do that.