Every year my aunt sends me a wool sweater for Christmas. We get it Aunt Alice. You're a sheep.

Kenneth

Normal is a woman and a woman getting married and having a child.

Liz

I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch.

Jack

There are four things I wanna do this summer, but they're roommates so it's tricky.

Dr. Spaceman

Looks like you could use a little R & R...rum and ritalin.

Dr. Spaceman

Alright. Now that the popsicle's melted we've got ourselves a tongue depressor.

Dr. Spaceman

You're the one that makes us laugh. Never go away again.

Kenneth

Don't think I won't tase you alright? I got OCD and I love doing paperwork.

Cop

Tracy: Was Dot Com standing that gay?
Kenneth: Um no sir, he was not.

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