30 Rock

30 Rock Season 5 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 5 Episode 19: "I Heart Connecticut"

Liz: Listen to me. I sound like Cagney and Lacey but without the slutty clothes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dot Com: You think we don't want him back? Do you know how much our cobra payments are? And he's the only one who knows the combination to the candy safe.
Grizz: The worst part is being able to see the candy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 18: "Plan B"

Devon: I was trapped in a world of wet wipes and rectal thermometers. Then the babies came and life changed.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kenneth: How was substitute teaching sir?
Pete: Just like Lean On Me, in that a guy who looks like Morgan Freeman swung a bat at me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Devon: This isn't even baby vomit on my jacket. It's mine. All mine.
 • Rating: Unrated

Hank: Jack, we've been waiting almost an hour for this Banks fella. The only explanation I can think of is that he keeps stopping to perform good deeds.
 • Rating: Unrated

Devon: These aren't babies, they're organ farms.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Aaron Sorkin: We make horse buggies; the first Model T just rolled into town.
Liz: We're dinosaurs.
Aaron Sorkin: We don't need two metaphors. That's bad writing, not that it matters.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Aaron Sorkin: I'm Aaron Sorkin. The West Wing, A Few Good Men, The Social Network...
Liz: Studio 60.
Aaron Sorkin: Shut up.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jack: I tracked him down to an address in Brooklyn. He's on LinkedIn, Lemon. He might as well be dead.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jack: He's a gay shark, like the actor who played Jaws.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jack: There is a gay Jack Donaghy. His name is Devon Banks.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Pete: Last time I taught I was like Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society, by which I mean I got fired.
 • Rating: Unrated

Liz: I'd like to help but "I'm Afraid My Hands Are Tied"...is the only show anyone's watching on Twinks.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tracy: I'm doing God's work here in Africa. Why just yesterday I kicked two naked people out of a garden.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 17: "Queen of Jordan"

Angie: I just wanna wake up in the morning and look over at my husband asleep on our neighbor's roof.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jack: I am extremely secure in my athleticism, my masculinity, and my rectal integrity.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Frank: Skelator's not my favorite...you are.
 • Rating: Unrated

Angie: I'm contractually obligated to pull out some bitch's weave eight more times this season.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jenna's Psychic: Wait! You're seeing another psychic? I mean, I knew that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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