Apache! Helicopter! We should sell those, cause I'm rapper

If I stop drinking all at once, I'm afraid the cumulative hangover will kill me.

Commander Kellogg: Archer broke both of Wu's arms while shouting, "woo!"
Archer: Happy coincidence.

Something something danger zone. I know. I'm not even trying anymore.

Pam: What a hunk
Cheryl: Total sploosh.
Lana: Yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
Gillette: And whatever my equivalent of sploosh. Which I guess is just sploosh. Only with semen.

Cheryl: You're not my supervisor!
Pam: Shut up! We're going to go to prison.
Cheryl: No, we're not. Say the right stuff and they just send you to a mental hospital for ten months.
Gilette: I just this second realize why you do macrame instead of knitting.
Cheryl: Yeah, no sharp weapons on the ward. They were really strict about that.

I bet i wont even be able to eat spaghetti and meatballs ever again. Oh god, I could eat. Not necessarily spaghetti and meatballs, but not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs. I mean I really like spaghetti and meatballs. Man, if I don't get some spaghetti and meatballs I might literally die.

Seriously, what is this, the Shire?

Lana

Lana: We're the size of a bacteria.
Dr. Sklodowska: Bacterium.
Lana: Thanks, Jill Nye.

I am pushing. Swearzy realzies

Cheryl

Silence - yes! Aspire to that while I think of a plan.

Lana

Slater: Just Slater, it's a mononym like...
Malory: Jesus Christ!
Slater: Nope

Archer Quotes

Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?

Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?