Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXPopular Archer Quotes
Archer: Great idea, Cyril. Let's give an M16 to a bunch of wild Indians!
Ray: Goddamn, Huckleberry Finn!
What? I don't think it's racist to assume that a previously uncontacted tribe of indigenous peoples might react unpredictably, perhaps even wildly, to a bunch of white guys who walk up and hand them a goddamn M16!
I took three Valium. If I get any more relaxed I will literally die.
Malory
Cyril: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Archer: Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.
Ray: Crocodiles don't have ears!
Archer: They absolutely have ears, shit-head!
Cyril: Well, you did set the raft on fire.
Ray: Oh my God, you always take his side!
Cyril: I never, ever, EVER take his side!
Blah blah blah, some joke about you two having vaginas, let's go.
Cyril: Go where?
Archer: Well long term, I was thinking home. Short term, somewhere that's not the crocodile version of a drive thru.
Cyril: Do you think those guys are Doctors Without Borders?
Archer: Yes Cyril, I do. I bet those assault rifles shoot polio vaccines.
Cyril, make sure it's good and tight. (pause) Haha, why are we still not doing phrasing?
Do the right thing, Cyril. You have nothing to live for.
And why are you dressed like the whore the rest of the trailer park finally decided they had to stone to death?
Malory
