Archer

Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer
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Archer: I realize now that I was mistaken
Lana: Aww, what a scary new feeling for you.

Not as scary as having to live in "Casa de Addams Family" with you two!

Think cool thoughts, like eating mint chocolate ice-cream...in your refrigerated drawer...at the morg

God, how I envy the deaf.

Malory

Cyril: Only if you promise to periodically micromanage it and emasculate me.
Malory: Cyril. I would have thought that goes without saying.

Potato, po-treason, whatever.

The point is, we are highly trained covert operatives with an extremely dangerous set of skills. And since the government has unjustly accused us of treason, we are now forced to transfer those skills from espionage to criminal activity. Kinda like the A-Team. But we sell drugs

Archer: It's the A-Team meets Scarface. That makes me...uh...
Lana: Hannibal Montana?

Lana: If anything goes wrong, I'm holding YOU responsible.
Archer: Yeah, that'll teach me.

Lana: Right about here is the part where I hold you responsible.
Archer: Oh my God, the burden.

You'd be amazed what you people do when you think you're alone. Cyril.

Krieger

Cyril: I'm sorry, the money is where?
Archer: Uh, in your masturbators, you idiot.

Displaying quotes 493 - 504 of 541 in total

Archer Quotes

Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.