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Archer

Not as scary as having to live in "Casa de Addams Family" with you two!

Think cool thoughts, like eating mint chocolate ice-cream...in your refrigerated drawer...at the morg

God, how I envy the deaf.

Malory

Cyril: Only if you promise to periodically micromanage it and emasculate me.
Malory: Cyril. I would have thought that goes without saying.

Potato, po-treason, whatever.

The point is, we are highly trained covert operatives with an extremely dangerous set of skills. And since the government has unjustly accused us of treason, we are now forced to transfer those skills from espionage to criminal activity. Kinda like the A-Team. But we sell drugs

Archer: It's the A-Team meets Scarface. That makes me...uh...
Lana: Hannibal Montana?

Lana: If anything goes wrong, I'm holding YOU responsible.
Archer: Yeah, that'll teach me.

Lana: Right about here is the part where I hold you responsible.
Archer: Oh my God, the burden.

You'd be amazed what you people do when you think you're alone. Cyril.

Krieger

Cyril: I'm sorry, the money is where?
Archer: Uh, in your masturbators, you idiot.

Cyril, go lock up the product before Cokey Monster here gobbles it all up.

Malory
Displaying quotes 493 - 504 of 541 in total

Archer Quotes

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Archer

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

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