Google Guy: Now, with this car you might get some stares.
Michael: I'm used to a car with some stares.

So where do you keep your ostriches?

Lindsay

Lindsay: I really love you, Tobias.
Tobias: Oh Lindsay. We have got to get you to that acting clinic.
Lindsay: And that was with me picturing fudge.

Stop with the prayer hands. It just looks like you're out of ideas. Seriously, shoot me if you ever catch me doing that.

Michael

Lindsay: It's cute on me. But I thought it was supposed to say 'Kate.'
Salesman: Oh no. Anything under a small is considered a 'David Spade.'

Lindsay: Oh my God! Did we just hit something? Shouldn't we stop?
Indian woman: No, it wasn't a cow. It was just a tourist.

Tobias: I believe we're thinking the same thing. Let's give it another shot...
Lindsay: Yeah. We should end it.
Tobias: ...to the head. Kill it. Yes.

If I'd have told them we were taking a whole bunch of gays out there to get married they'd have thrown me a parade. Let's tell them we were taking a bunch of gays out there to get married!

Lucille

[to Lindsay] "I'm just not that into older women."

Michael

Oscar: Yesterday I was talking to a lizard and it turned into Elizabeth Taylor.
George Sr.: Young Elizabeth Taylor?

[to a limp Oscar] If I could give you just one note? A little energy.

George Sr.

I'd give $10,000 for a glass of lemonade right now.

George Sr.

Arrested Development Quotes

Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh ... Wait, wait. Let down your hair. No, glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.