Michael: All right, listen. This is all getting a little crazy. We cannot accept their conditions if we don't even know what their conditions are.
Barry: Do you wanna read it?
Michael: I know it's thick. Why don't we just take it?
Barry: I could kiss you on the *bleep*.
Michael: Ah, well it's -- what?!

Gob: And now you love the ten commandments. And yet you're the one who so conveniently forgot "Thou shalt protect thy father and honor no one above him unless it be-ith me, thy sweet Lord".
Michael: I'm not sure that one made it down the mountain, Gob.

So, what about us? We were starting to establish some trust. Except for all the lies.

Maggie

Maggie: Did you ever see him return from these trips with anything unusual?
Buster: He once came back once with a black statue with an erect penis. It stayed in our living room until my aunt objected.

Maeby: Plus, who's going to get mad at the dying girl?
George Michael: Surely's dying?
Maeby: I figure I'll kill her off just before graduation just so everyone gets really sad before prom.

Michael: I actually had a pretty interesting night myself.
Gob: Really? What'd you do, read the plea?

Narrator: That morning, however, she had some startling news for him.
Cindi: I'm a mole.
George Sr.: Well, you know, God - God doesn't care how big your teeth are. Yes, you could go to a dentist and you could, whoo - you could grind off about - I don't know - 30%. Maybe more. Yeah, I wouldn't miss it.

Lucille: Your father with his disgusting tweaking. I couldn't breast feed any of you kids because of that man.
(Everyone groans except for Barry)
Barry: They still look fabulous.

Gob: Michael, you can save this family. Please, do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that Dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society.
Barry: The solution to all our problems is staring you right in the face, and it can't even see you.

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