Arrested Development

Arrested Development Season 2 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 2 Episode 13: "Motherboy XXX"

Dave Attell: (referring to Tobias) If that man is straight, then I am sober.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Oh, no. What, Buster, for the first time ever, doesn't want to do this?
Lucille: No, no, he does. It's just he's been so mopey.
Michael: Well, that could have something to do with the fact that a seal ate his hand.
Lucille: I don't know what it is.
Michael: I think that's what it is.
Lucille: Who knows?
Narrator: It was that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Carl Weathers: I'm gonna go get a new soda. Hey, you know that you can get a refill on any drink you want here, and it's free? (laughs)
Tobias: (laughs) It's a wonderful restaurant. Mmm!
Narrator: It sure is.
 • Rating: Unrated

Buster: Can I open a can of soup for you?
George Michael: Can it open a can?
Buster: Can what open a can? Oh, God.
George Michael: Oh, God.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sailor Boy: Take me with you!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George, Sr.: (to the dolls) Now, who wants to take their top off?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Ok, that would be disgusting if you'd actually slept with her, but I don't think you did.
Gob: I did and it was disgusting.
Narrator: They didn't, but it would have been.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: You know, if that hand is still intact inside the seal, Buster's got a shot at a transplant.
Gob: At the very least, we can get Buster's Swatch back, right?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lucille: (to George Michael) Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending some time with what's left of your uncle?
 • Rating: Unrated

Barry: You don't want to go in front of that judge. I caught him in a drag club.
Gob: What were you doing there?
Barry: Wow, you should be the lawyer.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barry: You really wanna settle this, now your job is to convince that "wife" of yours that you are willing to go in front of a judge and admit that you never had sex.
Gob: She has a name Barry. You don't happen to know what it is by the way, do ya?
Barry: That's why I want to settle...I'm not "super prepared".
Gob: Well, we did have sex...and I'm not a great liar.
Narrator: Both things he just said were lies.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tobias: What are you doing up here?
George, Sr.: I'm having a f**king tea party, what does it look like I'm doing?
(He shoves Tobias up against the wall with his hand against his mouth)
George, Sr.: I'm living up here and if you tell anyone about this, I will f**king kill you. Ah, stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.
 • Rating: Unrated

George, Sr.: If you play me, you got to play me like a man and not like some mincing little Polly or Nellie! I get those names confused. Apology. (to dolls) Apologies all around.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Buster, you can't zip-line over there.
Buster: Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. You have to get on your knees to start it.
Michael: This is much less scary. Godspeed, Buster!
 • Rating: Unrated

Buster: My Army training tells me that this is going to be a hot mission.
Michael: What? A hot mission?
Buster: Yes. I create a diversion, and you grab George Michael and go. We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: I think it's getting too risky keeping you up here.
George, Sr.: You know what's risky? Letting your son go on that church thing.
Michael: Her name is Ann, Dad, and he's not "going" on her, ok? They're just friends.
George, Sr.: Not for long. They're making promises to each other. It's all that fidelity and pledging yourself to a woman garbage. I wine 'em and dine 'em, but I don't let them tell me what to do. (speaking to his dolls, arranged for a tea party) I don't let them tell me what to do.
Michael: Ok, I should've never taken the pumps out of here.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lucille: Do you think enough time has passed to do Sonny and Cher?
George-Michael: Who?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 12: "Hand to God"

(George Sr. & Lucille are in different cars. They almost crash).
George Sr.: Up yours, granny!
Lucille: You couldn't handle it!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Car Salesman: Yeah, the Bronco's been discontinued. We're trying to shed that whole fugitive-on-the-run thing. This is the Escape.
George Sr.: What a fun name. May I test drive?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Maggie: I went to a sperm bank the week before we even met. The father is some guy from Harvard. That's all I know.
Michael: That's great. It's probably some geek Simpsons writer's kid.
 • Rating: Unrated

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