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Michael: It all makes sense. Why else would Sally Sitwell be avoiding me?
Lindsay: Because she thinks you're a loser.
Gob: And why would Lucille 2 be so distant toward me?
Lindsay: Because she knows you're a loser.

Narrator: Tobias listens to a day's worth of his own words to see what Michael was referring to.
Tobias: (on tape) Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
Tobias: Nothing wrong with that.
Tobias: (on tape) Oh, I've been in the film business for a while, but I just can't seem to get one in the can.
Tobias: It's out of context.
Tobias: (on tape) I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak.
Narrator: And he realizes there is something distinct about the way he speaks.
Tobias: Tobias, you blowhard! (Chuckles)

Lindsay: Well Gob doesn't do anything for the family...
Gob: Hey... I'm f(bleep)ing Lucille 2!
Lindsay: Ohh.. I could do something like that...

I had no idea a ninety year-old man could cave in my chest cavity like that.

Tobias

George Sr.: You're pimping out your sister?
Michael: Well you were pimping out my mother!

Michael: If you had tried and failed, I'd understand, but you didn't even try.
Lindsay: So I didn't even fail, and I don't see you giving me credit for that.

Lucille: Buster, nice of you to take a break from that common whore you've been dating.
Buster: She is not a whore, mother, she happens to be the new secretary of the Bluth company. And yes, she may be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be terrifying.

Michael: (about the basket) Why don't you take this? I don't have anyone to go with anyway.
Tobias: Can you imagine how jealous that would make her? "Where's Tobias?!" "Oh, he's just sharing a romantic horseback ride with Michael Bluth and they're dipping each other in..." Oh, you didn't get anybody chocolate ...
Michael: I didn't mean with me. I hate to see you struggle like this. In fact, why don't you let me ask her for you?
Tobias: Well, Michael, you really are quite the cupid, aren't you? I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks anytime.
Michael: Okay. You know what you do? Buy yourself a tape recorder. Record yourself for a whole day. I think you're gonna be surprised at some of your phrasing.
Tobias: (gasps) Butterscotch! Want a lick?

Tobias: I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will. So now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
Michael: There's just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.

Michael: So what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here.
George Michael: What's kama sutra oil?
Michael: Maybe it's not for us.

Lucille: She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the jokes on her because she doesn't know how little I care for Gob.
Michael: I think that makes the joke on Gob.

Michael: You were not on a date with Dragon.
Lindsay: I know that, Michael. It was pretty obvious when Dragon kept swooping Uncle Jack in for a kiss.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 210 in total

Arrested Development Season 2 Quotes

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom