(to George Michael) Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending some time with what's left of your uncle?

Lucille

Tobias: What are you doing up here?
George, Sr.: I'm having a f**king tea party, what does it look like I'm doing?
(He shoves Tobias up against the wall with his hand against his mouth)
George, Sr.: I'm living up here and if you tell anyone about this, I will f**king kill you. Ah, stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.

Michael: You know, if that hand is still intact inside the seal, Buster's got a shot at a transplant.
Gob: At the very least, we can get Buster's Swatch back, right?

If you play me, you got to play me like a man and not like some mincing little Polly or Nellie! I get those names confused. Apology. (to dolls) Apologies all around.

George, Sr.

Buster: Can I open a can of soup for you?
George Michael: Can it open a can?
Buster: Can what open a can? Oh, God.
George Michael: Oh, God.

Maggie: I went to a sperm bank the week before we even met. The father is some guy from Harvard. That's all I know.
Michael: That's great. It's probably some geek Simpsons writer's kid.

Car Salesman: Yeah, the Bronco's been discontinued. We're trying to shed that whole fugitive-on-the-run thing. This is the Escape.
George Sr.: What a fun name. May I test drive?

(George Sr. & Lucille are in different cars. They almost crash).
George Sr.: Up yours, granny!
Lucille: You couldn't handle it!

Lucille: I prayed that God take anything He wanted from us so that Buster wouldn't have to go to war.
Michael: Oh Mom. After all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

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