Michael: Ok, that would be disgusting if you'd actually slept with her, but I don't think you did.
Gob: I did and it was disgusting.
Narrator: They didn't, but it would have been.

(to the dolls) Now, who wants to take their top off?

George, Sr.

(to George Michael) Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending some time with what's left of your uncle?

Lucille

Take me with you!

Sailor Boy

Barry: You don't want to go in front of that judge. I caught him in a drag club.
Gob: What were you doing there?
Barry: Wow, you should be the lawyer.

(George Sr. & Lucille are in different cars. They almost crash).
George Sr.: Up yours, granny!
Lucille: You couldn't handle it!

Maggie: I went to a sperm bank the week before we even met. The father is some guy from Harvard. That's all I know.
Michael: That's great. It's probably some geek Simpsons writer's kid.

Car Salesman: Yeah, the Bronco's been discontinued. We're trying to shed that whole fugitive-on-the-run thing. This is the Escape.
George Sr.: What a fun name. May I test drive?

Lucille: How's my son?
Doctor: He's going to be all right.
Lindsay Funke: Finally some good news from this guy.
George Michael Bluth: There's no other way to take that.
Doctor: That's a great attitude. I got to tell you, if I was getting this news, I don't know that I'd take it this well.
Lucille: But you said he was all right.
Doctor: Yes, he's lost his left hand. So he's going to be "all right."
Lucille: [Jumping on the doctor] You son of a bitch! I hate this doctor!

Buster: A seal didn't bite your Linus off, right?
Michael: No, a seal didn't bite my Linus off.

George Michael: Ann's off with her religious group trying to get Nip/Tuck taken off the air.
Michael: They don't like Nip/Tuck?
George Michael: Well, you know, they don't like anything. Something about God wants people to age naturally, or I don't know. Ironically, she likes Gangy.

Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, Buster and Gob find themselves closer than ever.
Doctor: And there you are, we've removed the hook, and there's been no damage.
Gob: Oh, Thank God.
Doctor: Yeah, he's gonna be fine. But unfortunately, you've still got a hook in your ass.

Arrested Development Season 2 Quotes

Michael: Well, I better get over there before he brings the whole company down.
Lindsay: It's only been three hours. How much damage could he really do?
Narrator: In three hours, Gob had done $45,000 in damage.

Michael: How is he, doctor?
Doctor: It, uh, it looks like he's dead.
Lucille: Oh, my God!
Gob: Oh, little guy ... the tears aren't coming. The tears just aren't coming.