Popular Awkward Quotes
Maybe people would stop staring at you if you could just finish the abortion your mom botched.
Sadie
Tamara: Jenna, we got your texts. Where are you on the Britney meter?
Jenna: I may be mid head shave.
I needed to tell Tamara that I had given Matty the gift of my Vagi. But it still wasn't the right time.
Jenna
Jenna: Sad fact: My Mom had more cyber friends than I did.
Jenna: What is that?
Lacey: It's you with a little enhancement!
Jenna: A little?
Lacey: It's perfectly fine to have Bangladeshi boobies these days. Because now we don't have to dream about having a new chest, we can buy one. I did.
In my fantasy scenario I was gonna be the badass, the rebel, I'd be a legendary sophomore rockstar that no one would ever forget again. But in reality I had 30 more people taking pictures of my tits.
Jenna
Agreed, the ellipses are the sluts of punctuation.
Tamara
If we don't go then the terrorists win and by terrorists I mean Sadie.
Tamara
Tamara: We have to go to Lissa's. This party is my opportunity to skip nine, maybe ten rungs, on the social ladder.
Jenna: It's probably gonna be a big party and no one will even notice we're there.
Tamara: Doesn't matter, a person's popularity is directly related to the number of red cup pics they have posted online. Photoshopping my way to the A-list is a big fail mary. To simulate gonge smoke I had to light a fire in my trash can and my hair caught on fire. Luckily I was wearing my Jessica Simps bump up pony so I just ripped that s*** out.
Hey! Stop! Don't touch me there that sir is my no no square.
Lissa
Abstinence isn't easy and neither are you.
Lissa
For 15 years I fantasized about everyone noticing me as I walked down the hall. What would I be wearing? Would every guy worship me? Would I be five inches taller and have porn tits? No, that was not my reality. My moment in the spotlight sucked some serious ass.
Jenna
