Awkward Quotes
Do all boners look like weapons?
Ming
Jenna: Was there an orgy at Lissa's?
Tamara: Evidently, and get this: I was part of it. I mean I wasn't really part of it, but everyone will think I was. Oh my God, this is so much better than a red cup photo now I have red cup on my face!
Whether I liked it or not, it was time to DTR.
Jenna
Lacey: Remember how I stole you away from Mandy-wait what's her name?
Kevin: Highkarsky. Who you told I was gay.
Lacey: Which clearly you aren't.
Jenna: Are you really having this conversation right now in front of me?
Kevin: I would have preferred a different tactic.
Lacey: Well, I had to fight dirty babe. She was a nasty hoebag.
Lacey: I'm not wasting this good hair. Where could we go?
Kevin: We could go to dinner? Go to a movie?
Lacey: We could take a nap.
Kevin: Okay.
Lacey: No! We are not old!
I really want to celebrate your release from jail but I'm on the hunt for Red October.
Tamara
Matty: And you're funny-
Jenna: -looking.
Matty: No, you're beautiful.
The scorch from my rejection was still lingering and the fact that my dad was driving fifteen miles under the speed limit was only prolonging my hell. It was like my parents were stoned.
Jenna
Well, I don't know if this will make you feel better but at least you'll be happy you're not me. When I got home my parents took the bark control shock collar off our dog and put it on me.
Ming
For 2.8 weeks Matty couldn't keep his hands off me. He was on a Jenna-bender. And aside from the fact that my vag-o-matic was suffering some serious road burn I was high on life.
Jenna
I was living this magical high school moment that I only thought happened in movies. And like most leading ladies I wanted more. Not more boning, I wasn't starting a lifelong battle with sex addiction. I just wanted more intimacy.
Jenna
It was time to get to know Matty and I had approximately ten seconds.
Jenna
