Better Off Ted

Better Off Ted "Mess of a Salesman" Quotes

Phil and Lem: Deal with it!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Linda [to Veronica]: When you do care, you care one hundred and crazy percent.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Do you know how many times I didn't get laid in college because girls don't like getting hissed at by a jealous possum?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Billy: If you tell anyone I did you a solid, I will tear off your head and tinkle in your skull!
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil: That's right, once a month they send us a new cadaver whether we're finished with the old one or not.
 • Rating: Unrated

Veronica: Saddle up, Linda! And say goodbye to common sense.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: We can't leave work in the middle of the day. We're not Somali pirates.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Veronica: The forest will run red with the blood of woodland creatures who doubted little Veronica and will now pay with their furry little lives.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Linda: I had an aunt who fought a cow for beer money once. The cow never forgave her.
 • Rating: Unrated

Billy: Hey, are those fresh nuts?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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