Do you know how many times I didn't get laid in college because girls don't like getting hissed at by a jealous possum?

Ted

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Related Quotes:
Better Off Ted Quotes, Better Off Ted Season 2 Episode 11 Quotes, Ted Crisp Quotes
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Better Off Ted Season 2 Episode 11 Quotes

Bang zoom! I'm getting a muffin!

Ted

The Veridian Foundation... helping the world then telling people about it makes us feel so good. The Veridian Foundation... Helping people. By telling people we're helping the world.

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