Better Off Ted Season 2 Episode 5: "The Great Repression" Quotes
Veronica: Children, they have so many uses. They're like adorable Swiss Army knives.
Ted: Although they can't open wine worth a damn.
Boy, bringing things back from the dead never goes smoothly.Phil
That isn't harassment. Harassment is supposed to be sexy. You're not even doing it right.Keith
Ted: You're one of the best executives ever. You're better than Steve Jobs, Lee Iacocca, or...
Veronica: Field Marshal Rommel?
Veronica: He was a brilliant tactician who looked magnificent in jodhpurs.
Ted: Now I'm picturing you in jodhpurs.
Veronica: So am I, and I'll bet Rommel didn't wear a thong underneath his.
Phil: This must be how Dr. Frankenstein felt. And that creepy scientist on the fourth floor who tried to build a wife out of mannequin parts and chicken skin.
Lem: Yeah. It was awkward at the Christmas party when we had to pretend she didn't smell like chicken.
Veronica: Chu, chu, chu, chu.
Ted: What are you doing?
Veronica: That's the sound of me deflecting the whiny bitching with my happiness shield.
We can put him back together. I fixed my marriage with mechanical attachments, I can fix this.Phil
I don't want to lose this job. What am I supposed to do, go back to Wisconsin and work in the cheese mine? After I made that big speech, threw down my cheese shovel, and stormed out?Linda
I don't like other ladies' breasts. Some days I don't even like my own breasts. Although mostly they're awesome.Linda
Veronica: Great news! You both have a disease.
Ted: You would be a terrible doctor.
I feel like my heart has been kicked in the testicles.Phil
Where'd they take him, you son of a bitch!? I mean, my immediate superior.Phil