Boyle: Any idea what this emergency meeting is about?
Jake: Probably about how all the cell towers are broken and that's why Sophia hasn't texted me back. I keep checking my phone every thirty seconds like a loser.
Gina: Tread lightly son.

• Permalink: Tread lightly son.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

"Cwazy" with a W, a backwards W.

Gina

• Permalink: "Cwazy" with a W, a backwards W.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Good point, Captain Holt. Or should I say Captain Raymond Sex-Vibes!

Jake

• Permalink: Good point, Captain Holt. Or should I say Captain Raymond Sex-Vibes!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Forget your ex, have meaningless sex. It rhymes because it's true.

Gina

• Permalink: Forget your ex, have meaningless sex. It rhymes because it's true.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

I got aroused last night watching a nature documentary on bees. It was fine until they went inside a hive.

Charles

• Permalink: I got aroused last night watching a nature documentary on bees. It was fine until they went...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Teddy's like the worst out of all those guys! Extortion, terrible breath, murder...I put terrible breath too high on that list.

Jake

• Permalink: Extortion, terrible breath, murder...I put terrible breath too high on that list.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Actually, someone reported that they couldn’t find your head. But we found it; it was up your butt. You’re a fireman, you should know how to treat that burn.

Jake

• Permalink: Actually, someone reported that they couldn’t find your head. But we found it; it was up your...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jake: I'm as serious as a heart attack. No offense Scully.
Scully: Eh! Mine are never that serious. I call them "oopsies."

• Permalink: Eh! Mine are never that serious. I call them "oopsies."
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

You're three minutes early...in Chicago.

Holt

• Permalink: You're three minutes early...in Chicago.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

I'm about to Olivia Pope this sitch!

Gina

• Permalink: I'm about to Olivia Pope this sitch!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Okay, you two are obviously the alphas. Let me guess, you're dating the blond kid, and you like Filipino Bieber but you're worried he's still into Little Miss Side-Braid-Jenky-Purse.

Gina

• Permalink: Okay, you two are obviously the alphas. Let me guess, you're dating the blond kid, and you...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Wuntch: Hello Raymond. How do you like my new office? 20th floor.
Holt: Yes, I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you.

• Permalink: Yes, I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0