Popular Californication Quotes
Well, you should've called. I wouldn't have answered, but you coulda left a message, which I would've quickly erased.
Hank Moody
Nobody likes you. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you f--cking douche!
Hank Moody
We have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The Internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it's really given us is Howard Dean's aborted candidacy and 24-hour a day access to kiddie porn.
Hank Moody
It'd be nice if I could fellate myself while farting the White album, but I haven't quite mastered that yet.
Hank Moody
Life is too short to dance with fat girls.
Hank Moody
I know you're saving the planet and all, but it doesn't give you the right to be an asshole!
Hank
Marcy: It's been sitting on the market for months now, Charlie, it's not selling.
Charlie: Well, maybe if you weren't too busy bringing every unemployed actor in LA with a cougar fetish back to the house, you could get it sold.
Marcy: First, it's our house, and second, if you weren't too busy trying to shove your angry inch into every damaged case that crosses your path, we wouldn't even be in this mess to begin with!
Charlie: I've been collecting passes all morning. it's too long, it's too self-indulgent, it's too hateful, too misogynistic, it's too soft, it's too mean-spirited..
Hank: Like those are bad things?
Hank: Wait a second...you guys are stoned!
Becca: Dad, please!
Hank: Tell me where you got the weed, I will kill the motherf***er, tell me!
Becca: In your typewriter.
Marcie: What are you thinking?
Charlie: Guess I thought it was something you might enjoy. You know, and maybe in the middle, you'd be like, 'God, I really do love this schmuck.'
Marcie: You thought that in the middle of raping me, I'd realize how much I love you?
Charlie: Can I ask you a question, Sue?
Sue: The answer is yes, I would love a face ride.
I love women. I have all their albums.
Hank Moody
