Californication Quotes
Hank: Charlie is that a dildo in your pocket or you just happy to see me?
Charlie: I think I must have been reliving that pee thing, now it's just a shame boner.
Sometimes it's better not to touch your dreams.
Hank
Really? You made a movie about a battleship? Man, just thanks for Aspen Extreme.
Hank
You're a middle aged white guy. What the fuck do you know about black culture?
Peter Berg
Kali: Will you stop calling me a fucking bitch please!
Samurai: Come on Ma, I was just peacocking baby.
Hank: She is a beautiful woman, true dat.
Samurai: What's with the use of all the urban patois man?
Hank: Hey its the ABC's of me baby.
Tyler: What? You don't want a man pound?
Hank: Not really, especially when you put it that way.
I'm not twelve, you can't bribe me anymore. Well you can, but you have to adjust for lifestyle and inflation.
Becca
Some girls are timid and lack focus, but you, you should be in porn.
Hank
I made myself a promise and I kept it! My heart and cock both swell with pride.
Charlie
I don't even know a mother fucker's real name. I just call him Alfred and he snaps right to it.
Samurai
He's like you but awesome.
Karen
Charlie: I missed yo black ass!
Hank: Later Masturbator.
