You ruined Christmas dinner so that you could be crowned the smartest person at the dumbest school?


John McClane's tank top! You're getting really good at Christmas, Troy.


This is amazing, and possibly in real time!


Seeing as you saved me from my annual Christmas tradition of plum pudding, roasted goose, and updating my suicide note, I suppose that I could give you a

Professor Cornwallis

We're stranded here forever...and I've never seen Blue Man Group!...I did see Blue Man Group! I just didn't get it! Why can't they talk? They have so much in common!


So this is how Greendale graduates end up--as transient mountain men. Not as bad as I thought.


What happened is between us and Jesus. And Jesus don't snitch.


Shirley: See? Prayer works.
Britta: So does gravity, Shirley.
Shirley: And you know who invented gravity, right?

It's puppet therapy. The psychology world has recently embraced it after seeing it on "Law & Order."


Are we just gonna avoid eye contact forever? What are we, Jeff during sex?


Who's holding? I have four berries, but I'm saving them for "Laser Floyd."


This awkward silence has been going on for days! Granted, Jeffrey looks amazing when he broods, but this has got to stop!


Community Quotes

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

I need Purell for my brain.