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You ruined Christmas dinner so that you could be crowned the smartest person at the dumbest school?

Jeff

John McClane's tank top! You're getting really good at Christmas, Troy.

Abed

This is amazing, and possibly in real time!

Abed

Seeing as you saved me from my annual Christmas tradition of plum pudding, roasted goose, and updating my suicide note, I suppose that I could give you a C...plus.

Professor Cornwallis

We're stranded here forever...and I've never seen Blue Man Group!...I did see Blue Man Group! I just didn't get it! Why can't they talk? They have so much in common!

Troy

So this is how Greendale graduates end up--as transient mountain men. Not as bad as I thought.

Jeff

What happened is between us and Jesus. And Jesus don't snitch.

Shirley

Shirley: See? Prayer works.
Britta: So does gravity, Shirley.
Shirley: And you know who invented gravity, right?

It's puppet therapy. The psychology world has recently embraced it after seeing it on "Law & Order."

Britta

Are we just gonna avoid eye contact forever? What are we, Jeff during sex?

Britta

Who's holding? I have four berries, but I'm saving them for "Laser Floyd."

Britta

This awkward silence has been going on for days! Granted, Jeffrey looks amazing when he broods, but this has got to stop!

Dean
Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 873 in total

Community Quotes

Annie: The midterm dance will need a visual theme. Like, 'Let's blow off steam,' and it's trains!
Chang: I have an idea!
Annie: Chang, your last idea was to murder.

If farts are fair game, so is God.

Duncan
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