Kevin doesn't know about labor laws, or forty hour work weeks, or that that guy named him after his dog.

Troy

What are you, the trout police? Because if you are, you're legally bound to tell me, or else it's entrapment.

Sullivan

I believe that the good Lord made Chang, Chang. Kevin is a choice.

Shirley

I'm gonna go get a sandwich, which, unlike "changnesia," is real.

Jeff

Thank you, Pierce Hawthorne, for your special blend of playful racial humor and genuine thoughts on Geraldine Ferraro.

Dean Pelton

I first met Chang when I hired him as a Spanish teacher at Greendale. Then he became a disgraced student, a psychopathic music major, a homeless vent dweller, a security guard, keytarist, power-hungry war lord, and, now, Kevin. It's sad to see him like this. Well, it's mixed. He was pretty terrible before.

Dean Pelton

I am not well-adjusted. More often than not, I am barely keeping it together. I am constantly texting...and there is no one at the other end.

Jeff

Annie: Shirley! We were just-
Abed:-about to-
Troy:-eat garbage dip! Why did I have to go third??

William: So, how about we make a couple of ground rules.
Jeff: Actually, that sounds good. Okay, no hugs.
William: Wouldn't want one. No apologies.
Jeff: Wouldn't accept one.

I like your hustle. Reminds me of the summer I was Ralph Lauren.

William

See, that's what I need to learn! How to be all dead inside with muscles on top!

Willy Jr

We belonged in the sun, with the wind in our hair. Or maybe at a Bennigan's, enjoying a Turkey O'Toole.

Abed

Community Quotes

I'm sorry Annie. I'm not the worker-bee type. I'm more of a silver back gorilla with the claws of a lion, the teeth of a shark and the quiet dignity of a tortoise.

Jeff

Abed: If you were a post-apocalyptic survivor--
Professor Hickey: I would raise goats, hoard cinnamon, and only travel at night. But please--I have some work to do here.