I may not be good with facial expressions, but I know an evil doppelganger when I see one. Plus, your arm makes a noise every time you move it.

Abed

Jeff! It's bad luck to see the graduation before the graduation!

Annie

Britta: When's the graduation ceremony?
Jeff: Never. It's community college. You send in some papers and they stop charging you.

Well, it's official--it's on a banner.

Jeff

Annie, why are you acting like a mistress in a Lifetime movie?

Jeff

I've spent almost four years here, growing and changing and making dioramas.

Jeff

I thought pushing that woman's head through a jukebox would make me feel better, but I'm just out $54...and a marriage.

Shirley

I know you're all wondering how I do it. How do I balance straight A's, extracurriculars, and Israeli folk dancing every Friday night?

Annie

Abed, we don't have origin stories, we have lives. At least...yup, just me.

Jeff

Britta, we're done. I ate a hamburger the other day and suddenly I'm not cold all the time.

Protester

We're really filling in some plot holes here.

Abed

I call it "the Crazy Quilt of Destiny," mostly because "the Loom of Fate" was already taken.

Abed

Community Quotes

Me and Abed have an agreement. If one of us dies, we stage it to look like a suicide caused by the unjust cancellation of Firefly. We're gonna get that show back on the air buddy!

Troy

Annie: When you found out I was Jewish, you invited me to a 'pool party' that turned out to be a Baptism.
Shirley: Well excuse me for trying to sneak you into Heaven.