Britta: Psychology tells us there are no accidents.
Jeff: What about car accidents, Tara Reid, or the Hindenburg?

This is the Jonestown of dinners.


You ask one lady if she's Tyler Perry in drag and suddenly you're the bad guy.


Pierce: Let's carve that jive turkey.
Shirley: Got that out of your system?

Jeff: I thought I told you to stop reading my emails.
Dean Pelton: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!

And that failed ventriloquist was...Slobodan Milosevic.

Professor Cornwallis

No one's even willing to consider that I might be the Hitler of the group?


That man saved my a video game.


Damn them and their perfectly crafted time pieces!


I thought this was America, not Arizona.


Carl, I see you've grown a new douchebag.


Quick impression--waaaa. Who am I? You guys.


Community Quotes

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

I'm no sociopath, I always know what I'm doing is wrong. I'm just a guy that doesn't like taking tests, doing work, and getting yelled at. So if you think about it, I'm the sanest person here.