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Britta: Psychology tells us there are no accidents.
Jeff: What about car accidents, Tara Reid, or the Hindenburg?

This is the Jonestown of dinners.

Annie

You ask one lady if she's Tyler Perry in drag and suddenly you're the bad guy.

Pierce

Pierce: Let's carve that jive turkey.
Shirley: Got that out of your system?

Jeff: I thought I told you to stop reading my emails.
Dean Pelton: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!

And that failed ventriloquist was...Slobodan Milosevic.

Professor Cornwallis

No one's even willing to consider that I might be the Hitler of the group?

Pierce

That man saved my life...in a video game.

Abed

Damn them and their perfectly crafted time pieces!

Jeff

I thought this was America, not Arizona.

Jeff

Carl, I see you've grown a new douchebag.

Jeff

Quick impression--waaaa. Who am I? You guys.

Jeff
Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 873 in total

Community Quotes

Troy: I think I'm failing psychopharmacology.
Britta: Why are you taking that?
Troy: I thought it was a class about crazy farm animals.

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]