Yes, I have a daughter. I found out three years ago? Her name is Tampa? How come no one remembers that?

Grayson

Travis: My tee-ball coach diagnosed me with a terminal case of 'the dropsies'.
Ellie: A month from now, you're going to be holding a fragile, infant life in your hands.
Travis: Do you think it's going to be a problem?
Ellie: Babies heads are soft.

We know that if there's something we can't handle with this kid, we can always lean on you.

Laurie

I am your grandfather, my back is genetically engineered to carry your burden. Lay it on me.

Chick

Jules: You know, I was trying to find the perfect setting and now I just don't know what to do. I know I have to tell them, or, a different approach, we hop in a car, drive west, and never look back.
Ellie: Don't joke! I packed my Thelma and Louise bag six years ago, so say the word I'll go grab it.

I have two hours to get healthy. It's like cramming for a test.

Jules

When she and I kiss, we kiss on the lips.

Ellie

That's true. I earned my spot, and you slutted your way in.

Ellie

Bobby's a very nurturing bitch.

Ellie

I call that rippin' on D-bags with Ellie.

Ellie

Ellie: I need a drink.
Grayson: Tough day?
Ellie: No, why?

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Oh I'll take one. I just want to see what date it was so I know not to come.

Ellie

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Ellie, I saw Andy's feet...I'm so sorry.
Ellie: No one understands.

Take OFF the mom goggles!

Laurie