Desperate Housewives Quotes
Renee: Oh my God, look at your hair!
Lynette: Do you like it?
Renee: Is it permanent?
Lynette: No.
Renee: Then I love it!
It's a Mexican hangover cure. It's the only thing I inherited from my family that's actually worth anything.
Gaby
She may have gone to the school with the wicked witch, but you went to school with me?
Renee
When is the last time you brushed your... is this a lollipop?
Gaby
Gaby: Which one is the salad fork?
Juanita: What's salad?
We just need to do this in the most efficient manner possible. Find the grave, dig up the body, wrap it in a tarp, weigh it down with some bricks, and toss it into the lake. I have all of the supplies in my trunk, along with clean towels, hand sanitizers, and breathing masks... in case the stench is overwhelming.
Bree
Let's find something fun-size for me to enjoy.
Renee
This one kept knocking me up so I won't get to be nostalgic until I'm 90.
Lynette
Paranoia reminds you that no place is truly safe.
Mary Alice
Mary Alice: Yes, we may think we're all destined to play certain roles, but sometimes those roles can unexpectedly change: a nervous student may discover a hidden confidence; a long time wife may confront a harsh reality; a busy mother may find her attention needed elsewhere; and a woman who wanted to do a little bit of good may be finding herself playing a much bigger role than she intended.
Lynette: I thought you had a date with Ben.
Renee: He cancelled again. Some stupid real estate project for the poor. Bastard.
Susan: Perfect! My best gay. Who else better to practice on? Good morning, Lee!
Lee: This is Bob's mother. OH MY GOD!
