Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives Season 6 Quotes (Page 5)

Season 6 Episode 5: "Everybody Ought to Have a Maid"

Mike: Honey, let her have her lies. Let her plot. You got nothing to worry about. You mean everything to me and Katherine means nothing.
Susan: Well, that's sweet. I'm gonna go tell her you said that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mrs. McCluskey: Lynette, when you've needed a favor from me, have I ever let you down?
Lynette: Last month we needed a sitter for Penny, but you didn't want to miss Oktoberfest. And just last thursday...
Mrs. McCluskey: Okay, new way in.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lynette: This would be a really good place for you to jump in and tell me I'm not a castrating bitch
Tom: Sure! Just put down the knife first.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: So, I still don't get why you fired Roy. I mean, he was putting the bird house where you wanted it, right?
Lynette: It's not about that. He said I emasculate you.
Tom: He said that?
Lynette: Well, not in those words. He went with a more colorful nutcracking analogy.
Tom: He is funny.
 • Rating: Unrated

Karen: When Roy's spirits are drooping, the problem is global. You get the picture?
Lynette: Getting the picture isn't the problem. It's getting rid of it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Susan: Oh my God! Katherine, the gun just went off. Are you all right?
Katherine: You tried to kill me!
Susan: Okay, I just shot you. Let's not be throwing accusations around.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: Laura, you're kind of a wet blanket since you quit smoking. Why don't you try a pipe?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 6 Episode 4: "The God-Why-Don't-You-Love-Me Blues"

Ana: I love him. Did you hear me? I said I love him.
Gabrielle: I heard you, I was swallowing vomit.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: Are you sleeping with John Rowland?
Ana: He's my boss.
Gabrielle: And the oscar goes to... Not you!
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: Ana bought condoms in what looked like a valu-Pack.
John: Wow. I had no idea she was that serious. I mean, I was only flirting with her... a little.
Gabrielle: Well, she's 17, so you're also flirting with on orange jumpsuit.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carlos: You've got some admirers out there.
Lynette: Oh?
Carlos: Yeah, as you walked by, I heard one of them say, "check out the rack on that one."
Lynette: Aw... Can I do the honors and call security?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 6 Episode 3: "Never Judge a Lady by Her Lover"

Tom: Remember last time you were pregnant with twins? Every part of you swelled up. It was like sleeping next to a body they dragged out of the river.
Lynette: You said I was beautiful.
Tom: I had to. You were twice my size.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 6 Episode 2: "Being Alive"

Ana: Why does a fish get caught?
Danny: Because he opens his mouth.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Season 6 Episode 1: "Nice is Different Than Good"

Bree: We can't do this. It's adultery!
Karl: Luckily we're both adults.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bree: If I'm gonna break a commandment, I don't want it to be for a quickie on this couch.
Karl: Who said quickie? I've got 40 minutes before my 10 o'clock. And thou shalt get sweaty.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Katherine: Haven't seen you in a while.
Susan: Well, I've been... using the back door a lot more lately.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: What's that smell?
Lynette: Despair.
Tom: Oh. I thought it was waffles.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

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