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Chris (Luke): (after shooting a TIE fighter) I got him! I got him!
Peter (Han): Great kid, don't get penisy.

Quagmire (C3PO): Who would you rather do: Jabba the Hutt right after a shower, or a service droid?
Cleveland (R2-D2): My father was a service droid!

Lois (Leia): Governor Tarkin. I smelled your stench as soon as we were brought on board.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Um, actually, that's me. I made a Darth Doodie.
Mayor Adam West (Grand Moff Tarkin): Princess Leia, we've decided to test our Death Star planet blower-upper gun on your home planet of Alderaan.
Lois (Leia): NO!
Mayor Adam West (Grand Moff Tarkin): She said no. Should we still do it?
Stewie (Darth Vader): Yes.

Ellen Griswold: Clark, I don't like the look of this neighborhood
Clark Griswold: Come on, Ellen, it's important for the kids to witness the plight of the Rebellion. Kids, you noticing all this plight?
[An X-Wing flying next to them is shot down]
Clark Griswold: (Starts rolling up his window) Roll 'em up!

Chris (Luke): Hey Han!
Peter (Han): What!
Chris (Luke): Why do they call them TIE-Fighters?
Peter (Han): No idea!
(Inside TIE-Fighter cockpit)
TIE Fighter Pilot: (Shouts in Thai)

Chris (Luke): (About the Millenium Falcon) What a piece of junk!
Peter (Han): Thank you. This was my brother's. He died of leukemia. How you feel about now?

Herbert (Obi-Wan): My sexy friend and I are looking for a ship.
Peter (Han): Well, you're in luck! I'm Han Solo, captain of the Millenium Falcon, and the only actor whose career isn't destroyed by this movie.

Chris (Luke): You don't believe in the force, do you?
Peter (Han): Oh, you mean that thing you just learned about three hours ago, and am now judging me for not believing in?

I have you now, young Skywalker. And with today's gas prices, not a moment too soon!

Stewie (Darth Vader)

Chris: Didn't Robot Chicken already do this three months ago?
Peter: I wouldn't worry about it, Chris. I don't even think people are aware of that show's existence.
Chris: Well, I don't know, Dad. I think a decent number of people watch it.
Peter: Oh, really? Define 'decent'.
Chris: I think it's the highest rated show on Cartoon Network, and the Star Wars episode doubled that audience.
Peter: Well, yeah. But double ten people is like twenty people. So, uh, what kind of numbers are we talking about here, you know?
Chris: Don't be glib about this stuff, Dad. It's a legitimate show and they beat you to the punch.
Peter: Uh, I don't know about that, Chris. To me, a legitimate show is on ABC, CBS, NBC... you know, one of the real networks.
Chris: Hahaha. I don't know about that, Dad.
Peter: And besides, what's up with that fifteen minute runtime? What is that? It's like fifteen minutes of guys playing with Star Wars dolls. Oh yay!
Chris: Oh, so you do know the show!
Peter: I read part of a review online. I am not a fan.
Chris: You know, Dad. You're a real jerk!

Chris (Luke): They're coming too fast!
Peter (Han): (Under his breath) Ah boy, nickel for every time that's happened. (yelling) Just keep shootin' Luke.

Family Guy Season 6 Episode 1 Quotes

You can kiss the lower part of the back of the canister that is my body!

Cleveland (R2-D2)

Death Star Officer 1: Any attack made by the Rebels against this station would be a useless gesture, no matter what technical data they've obtained. This station is now the ultimate power in the universe.
Stewie (Darth Vader): That is fantastic! Terrific work! So no weaknesses at all, huh?
Death Star Officer 1: N- (considers) no.
Stewie (Darth Vader): You, uh, you hesitated there. Is there something I should know?
Death Star Officer 1: No, it's virtually indestructable, like 99.99 percent.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Uh...OK, wouldn't be doin' my job if I didn't ask what's the .01?
Death Star Officer 1: Well, I- I mean, there's this little hole, it was kind of an aesthetic choice by the architect, and if you shoot a laser into this hole, uh, the station blows up.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that sounds like a pretty big design flaw there.
Death Star Officer 1: No, no, no the hole's only two meters across.
Mayor Adam West (Grand Moff Tarkin): Well, that's no bigger than a womp rat.
Death Star Officer 1: Exactly. And even to get within range of it, you have to skim along this whole trench, it's not a big deal.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Well, I mean, I mean, can't we board it up or, you know, put some plywood over it or something?
Death Star Officer 1: Well, that would look terrible! I mean, we got to think about re-sale.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Re-sale? Wh-what are you talking about? This property is right above Sunset, the value's only gonna go up.
Death Star Officer 1: Lord Vader, your inside references to the Los Angeles real estate market haven't given you the clairvoyance to turn a profit on that condo in Glendale, nor has it-
(Vader begins choking him with the Force)
Stewie (Darth Vader): I find your lack of faith disturbing. That property is in a prime location, twenty minutes to the beach, twenty minutes to downtown!
Death Star Officer 1: (choking) There's nothing to do downtown!
Mayor Adam West (Grand Moff Tarkin): Enough of this! Vader, release him.
Stewie (Darth Vader): As you wish. (releases the officer, who collapses on the table, gasping for air) All right, so we gonna plug up that hole?
Death Star Officer 2: Yeah, we can get it done tomorrow if price is no object.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Eyuuuuh...
Death Star Officer 2: We'll get estimates.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Yeah, get estimates, yeah ha, yeah, yeah ha ha, yeah.