Edward: I'm a vampire, and I'm in love with this unattractive girl.
Jacob: I'm a werewolf, and I am also in love with this unattractive girl.
Edward: Boy, she sure can act though, can't she?
Jacob: Nope.

• Permalink: I'm a vampire, and I'm in love with this unattractive girl. I'...
• Added: February 21, 2011

You know Chris, all my life, I've wanted to see you locked in a basement. But now that it's happened, all I want to do is get you out!

Herbert

• Permalink: You know Chris, all my life, I've wanted to see you locked in a ...
• Added: February 21, 2011

How do I know which one to shoot? How do I know which one's the real dad??

Chris

• Permalink: How do I know which one to shoot? How do I know which one's the...
• Added: February 21, 2011

You're not going to get away with this, Mr. Google Search!

Peter

• Permalink: You're not going to get away with this, Mr. Google Search!
• Added: February 21, 2011

I'm pretty sure our washer machine is pregnant! I'm not even sure how that's scientifically possible!

Lois

• Permalink: I'm pretty sure our washer machine is pregnant! I'm not even su...
• Added: February 21, 2011