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Family-guy

Beer that never goes flat. Do you know what that means, Brian? This beer will still be carbonated long after you die of old age and we buy another dog to help the kids ... y'know, forget about you

Peter

Lois, everyone has their sanctuary. The Catholics have churches, fat people have Wisconsin, and I have the Pawtucket Brewery

Peter

Game Show Host: This one is for Peter Griffin and Tony Randall.
Game Show Announcer: The password is..."flaming."
Peter: You...
Tony Randall: Actor.
Peter: You...
Tony Randall: Tony?
Peter: You...

It's true. The final scroll has been recovered. The lucky recipient has declined to be interviewed for safety reasons, but I'm sure you're all with me when I say, "Congratulations, you son of a bitch."

Tom Tucker

The Don: You come to me and ask me to kill a man I do not know. Now I ask you...why should I kill this Count Chocula?
Cap'n Crunch: Because that son of a bitch has been spreading lies. My cereal does not cut the roof of your mouth...with all respect

All right, listen to me you long-neck bastard. You give me the scroll, and I'll make you the head of sanitation services for the entire city. It's a do-nothing job, sweetcake

Adam West

Gays don't vomit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they came to this country from France

Peter

Peter: You know that whole Vietnam thing? Never happened.
Brian: Oh yeah, but don't mention it around the Veterans Hospital. Those guys are really committed to the lie

Meg: Excuse me, Mayor West?
Adam West: How do you know my language?

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