Friends Quotes
Ross: (About Mark offering Rachel a job) Well, I'm just saying, I mean why else would he just, ya know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Rachel: To be nice.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.
Joey: Oh My God. How many of these have you had? These are pure vodka.
Chandler: Yup, Jello just like mom used to make.
Rachel: (To Mark) Well, then. So I'm just gonna go back to talking to my friend here, you can go back to enjoying your little hamburger.
Stranger: Just one other thing.
Rachel: Yes?
Stranger: I work at Bloomingdale's, I might know of a job possibility if you're interested.
Rachel: Do you want my pickle?
Cookie: Hey. What are we drinking over here?
Phoebe: Well, I have, ah, vodka and cranberry juice.
Cookie: No kidding. That's the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Phoebe: Wow. Okay, I don't know how to talk to you.
Am I? Am I? Am I out of my mind? Am I loosing my senses?
Ross
Little Girl: You're a scrud.
Ross: What's a scrud?
Little Girl: Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud?
Ross: I don't have to; I can just look at you.
Phoebe: You saved them! You guys! Oh God, you're the best!
Chandler: It's like "Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees."
Phoebe: I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Joey: Well, I'm pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
Phoebe: Really?
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, it's their only chance to see New York.
Gunther: Do you remember when you first came here, how you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress?
Rachel: Oh, sure! Do you need me to train somebody new?
Gunther: (He laughs) Good one. Actually, ah, Terry wants you to take the training again, whenever.
Rachel: (To Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Chandler: (He stops to think) Yeah?
(About Rachel quitting her job) Does this mean we're gonna have to start paying for coffee?
Chandler
(to Rachel) And when you have a second later, I wanna show you why we don't just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.
Gunther
Rachel: Here we go. I'm serving my last cup of coffee. There you go. (Hands the cup to Chandler) Enjoy.
Chandler: (To Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
Ross: No.
