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(Singing)
One, two, three.
Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job,
It won't be long before you're the boss.
And you know who will be there to support you,
Your one and only boyfriend,
(One singer singing)
It's nice to have a boyfriend.
(All singing)
Your loyal, loving boyfriend, Ross.
Ross!

Barbershop Quartet

Ross: I'm sorry, I was an idiot.
Rachel: A big idiot.
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Gunther: (Eavesdropping) Let it be me! Let it be me!

Joey: Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?
Chandler: I want to say you, but that seems like such an easy answer.

(To Ross) It was like you were marking your territory. You might as well have come in and peed all around my desk.

Rachel

Rachel: Well, there's a kiss he won't forget for a few hours. You know?
Chandler: Yeah. Either that or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.

Mark: (Answering the phone) Rachel Green's line, how may I help you?
Ross: Hi, is Rachel there?
Mark: And who may I say is calling?
Ross: This is Ross.
Mark: Ross of...?
Ross: Of Ross and Rachel.

Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.

Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little noose at the end?

Chandler

Cookie: Hey. What are we drinking over here?
Phoebe: Well, I have, ah, vodka and cranberry juice.
Cookie: No kidding. That's the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Phoebe: Wow. Okay, I don't know how to talk to you.

Joey: Oh My God. How many of these have you had? These are pure vodka.
Chandler: Yup, Jello just like mom used to make.

Ross: (About Mark offering Rachel a job) Well, I'm just saying, I mean why else would he just, ya know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Rachel: To be nice.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.

Chandler: I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Monica: Yeah ... that was me.
Chandler: Sorry ... when I've been drinking too much, I can get a little over-friendly.
Monica: That's okay.
Rachel: That's okay.
Ross: (Pause) That's okay.

Displaying quotes 193 - 204 of 1265 in total

Friends Quotes

Phoebe: Okay, Joey, your bet.
Joey: I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (The girls look at him, confused.) Oh, I'm out.

Ross: Rach, you know, I can see you naked anytime I want.
Rachel: What?
Ross: All I have to do is close my eyes. See? (Ross closes his eyes) Woo-hoo!
Rachel: Ross, stop that!
Ross: I'm sorry.
Rachel: Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that anymore.
Ross: Uh, sorry. Nothing you can do about it. It's one of my, uh, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (Ross closes his eyes again) Oh yeah!
Rachel: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Ross: Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It will never happen-- (Closes eyes again) Uh oh. Wait a minute! Wait, wait. Now there are a hundred of you, and I'm the king!

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