(To Ross) It was like you were marking your territory. You might as well have come in and peed all around my desk.

Rachel

Phoebe: How was last night with Julio, seorita?
Monica: It was so amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta show you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.
Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.

Ross: I'm sorry, I was an idiot.
Rachel: A big idiot.
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Gunther: (Eavesdropping) Let it be me! Let it be me!

(Singing)
One, two, three.
Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job,
It won't be long before you're the boss.
And you know who will be there to support you,
Your one and only boyfriend,
(One singer singing)
It's nice to have a boyfriend.
(All singing)
Your loyal, loving boyfriend, Ross.
Ross!

Barbershop Quartet

Mark: (Answering the phone) Rachel Green's line, how may I help you?
Ross: Hi, is Rachel there?
Mark: And who may I say is calling?
Ross: This is Ross.
Mark: Ross of...?
Ross: Of Ross and Rachel.

Rachel: Well, there's a kiss he won't forget for a few hours. You know?
Chandler: Yeah. Either that or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.

Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.

Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little noose at the end?

Chandler

Cookie: Hey. What are we drinking over here?
Phoebe: Well, I have, ah, vodka and cranberry juice.
Cookie: No kidding. That's the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Phoebe: Wow. Okay, I don't know how to talk to you.

Ross: (About Mark offering Rachel a job) Well, I'm just saying, I mean why else would he just, ya know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Rachel: To be nice.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.

Joey: Oh My God. How many of these have you had? These are pure vodka.
Chandler: Yup, Jello just like mom used to make.

Rachel: (To Mark) Well, then. So I'm just gonna go back to talking to my friend here, you can go back to enjoying your little hamburger.
Stranger: Just one other thing.
Rachel: Yes?
Stranger: I work at Bloomingdale's, I might know of a job possibility if you're interested.
Rachel: Do you want my pickle?

Friends Quotes

Ross: I get home, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, "Oh my God, what the hell am I doing?" I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
Joey: You got all that from saline solution?

Phoebe: (About Ross bringing luggage) How long did you think this barbecue was gonna last?
Ross: I'm going to China.
Phoebe: Jeez, you say one thing, and...
Monica: You're going to China?
Ross: (Not wanting to get into it) It's for the museum. Someone found a bone. We want the bone. They don't want us to have the bone. I'm going to try to persuade them to give us the bone. It's a whole big bone thing.