Dear God Almighty Mr. Mirkle!

</i> Lorelai

Lorelai: What's the opposite of ennui?
Sookie: Off-ui. Hey, I'm cured!

Luke: I forgot my toolbox, so I just thought I'd come pick it up.
Lorelai: Oh, yeah. It's right over here. Rory and I couldn't lift it or we would've brought it to you, and then we got used to having it here, so we named it Bert, and we'd say, "Good night, Bert," and it'd say, "Good night girls," and--we spend too much time home alone.

Tristan: I'm all-knowing.
Rory: How Godlike of you.

Max: So did you date Luke?
Lorelai: No, I did not date Luke.
Max: You can tell me.
Lorelai: I did not date Luke.
Max: There was a vibe.

Lorelai: I had the weirdest dream last night. We were in our house but it wasn't our house, it was a Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Rory: I'm hooked.
Lorelai: I had to get dressed but my clothes were in the back and the guy manning the giant oil vat would not let me through.
Rory: Oh my God that's so weird. When you said oil vat that just reminded me I had this dream last night. We were swimming in a pool, only it wasn't water it was like oil or honey or something.
Lorelai: Hey.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: You totally did the thing.
Rory: What thing?
Lorelai: The thing. Where one person is describing their dream and it reminds the other person about their dream and suddenly it's all about their dream and the first person is just standing there like 'Um, hey man what about my dream?'
Rory: I'm sorry. The oil vat guy was being mean...

Max: I couldn't find a horse.
Lorelai: You didn't have to-
Max: Don't say anything, please. You were right last night, I shouldn't have proposed to you like that. It was stupid. It was the wrong place and the wrong time. I kicked myself the entire night for doing it. But you were wrong about something too. I didn't propose to you because we were fighting. I proposed because I love you. We're in a bad pattern Lorelai, and we have to break it. And other than that murder-suicide thing, which would be illegal and messy, I can only think to be impetuous.
Lorelai: Max.
Max: No listen, I woke up this morning and I realized that I studied and taught the great literature all my life. And those stories are replete with characters that let opportunities slip by, but what I teach is more than literature, it's lessons in life. If I don't follow these tenets, I'm not the man I thought I was, the man I want to be.

Max: Thank you for last night.
Lorelai: It was a good night, wasn't it?
Max: Several novels will be written about it.
Lorelai: I say we do it again, and next time I'll be the gypsy queen.

Because sometimes you have something you need to say but you can't because the words won't come out or you get scared or you feel stupid, so if you could write a song and sing it then you could say what you need to say and it would be beautiful and people would listen and you wouldn't make a complete idiot out of yourself, but all of us can't be songwriters so some of us will never be able to say what we're thinking or what we want other people to know that we're thinking so we'll never get the chance to make things right again ever.

Rory

(to Lorelai) Don't take this the wrong way, but get out.

Rory

Lorelai: Got a minute?
Dean: Actually I'm, uh..
Lorelai: I just want to tell you that I think you are scum.
Dean: Gee thanks.
Lorelai: You are gonna be hard pressed to find another girl as fantastic as Rory, you know that? She is beautiful and she is smart and she did not deserve to be treated that way by you.
Dean: Treated what way?
Lorelai: I thought you were a good guy. I thought you were going to make her happy. I'm such an idiot that I actually thought you were a good pick. But I was wrong and I hate to be wrong.
Dean: You know I am sick and tired of everyone blaming this thing on me. I mean you and the whole stupid town looking at me like I'm a criminal. I say "I love you" and she just sits there and I'm the jerk? I'm the bad guy?
Lorelai: What?
Dean: You know what? Fine, think what you want, I don't care. Just leave me alone.

(Luke is trying on clothes Lorelai bought him)
Luke: I hate you, very much!
Lorelai: Aww, save the sweet talk for Rachel.

Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes

Christopher: Nice shirt. Take it off.
Lorelai and Rory turn around staring at the guy on the motorcycle
(Christopher takes off his helmet)
Lorelai: Christopher.
Rory: Dad!

Lorelai: So, dinner, thoughts?
Rory: Let's have some.