Max: We can't keep getting this close just to have something completely derail us again. And frankly there's only one thing I can think of that could solve it.
Lorelai: Break up.
Max: Ugh.
Lorelai: Well, I'm not interested in a murder-suicide kind of thing ...
Max: We should get married.
(long pause)
Lorelai: Give me a clue as to whether you're kidding or not.
Max: I am not kidding.
Lorelai: Good clue.

(At the town meeting)
Taylor: Lorelai, I hope that's not food in those bags. Food is not allowed at town meetings.
Lorelai: No Taylor, it is it's um, diapers for the little ones.
Taylor: What?
Lorelai: Dorsal fins and cucamonga.
Taylor: What did she say?
Lorelai: (Whispering to Max) I confuse him till he loses his train of thought and then he moves on. Hot dog?
...
(Later, when Lorelai has fries in her hand and Taylor looks at her suspiciously)
Lorelai: These are not fries. They are farfignugen sugen dugen.

Madeline: So I've decided I'm now completely into Judy Garland. Did you see the TV movie? Pretty intense.
Louise: I think they used my mother's medicine cabinet in that.
Madeline: She was the Courtney Love of her day.
Paris: Show me a trend and I'll show you Madeline.
Madeline: Judy Garland is trendy?
Paris: Completely.
Louise: She was neo-addict retro chic.
Madeline: No one tells me these things

Max: Thank you for last night.
Lorelai: It was a good night, wasn't it?
Max: Several novels will be written about it.
Lorelai: I say we do it again, and next time I'll be the gypsy queen.

Dear God Almighty Mr. Mirkle!

</i> Lorelai

(to Max about his proposal) It should be magical. There should be music playing and romantic lighting and a subtle buildup to the popping of the big question. There should be a thousand yellow daisies and candles and a horse and I don't know what the horse is doing there unless you're riding it, which seems a little over the top, but it should be more than this.

Lorelai

Lorelai: I had the weirdest dream last night. We were in our house but it wasn't our house, it was a Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Rory: I'm hooked.
Lorelai: I had to get dressed but my clothes were in the back and the guy manning the giant oil vat would not let me through.
Rory: Oh my God that's so weird. When you said oil vat that just reminded me I had this dream last night. We were swimming in a pool, only it wasn't water it was like oil or honey or something.
Lorelai: Hey.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: You totally did the thing.
Rory: What thing?
Lorelai: The thing. Where one person is describing their dream and it reminds the other person about their dream and suddenly it's all about their dream and the first person is just standing there like 'Um, hey man what about my dream?'
Rory: I'm sorry. The oil vat guy was being mean...

Rory: I can't date you, Tristan.
Tristan: Well I give you permission.
Rory: And on that humble not... (Rory walks off)

(Luke broke into Lorelai's house)
Luke: It's the kind of lock burglars go for.
Lorelai: How do you know?
Luke: It's easy to break. I proved that.
Lorelai: You proved that by...
Luke: Breaking in through the back door.

(to Lorelai) Don't take this the wrong way, but get out.

Rory

Lorelai: Got a minute?
Dean: Actually I'm, uh..
Lorelai: I just want to tell you that I think you are scum.
Dean: Gee thanks.
Lorelai: You are gonna be hard pressed to find another girl as fantastic as Rory, you know that? She is beautiful and she is smart and she did not deserve to be treated that way by you.
Dean: Treated what way?
Lorelai: I thought you were a good guy. I thought you were going to make her happy. I'm such an idiot that I actually thought you were a good pick. But I was wrong and I hate to be wrong.
Dean: You know I am sick and tired of everyone blaming this thing on me. I mean you and the whole stupid town looking at me like I'm a criminal. I say "I love you" and she just sits there and I'm the jerk? I'm the bad guy?
Lorelai: What?
Dean: You know what? Fine, think what you want, I don't care. Just leave me alone.

Rory: So, Grandpa, what's new in the world today?
Richard: Well, as usual, it's going to hell in a handbasket.
Rory: It's nice to always have something you can count on.

Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes

Lorelai: Rory, I love you. I would take a bullet for you. But I'd rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club with you.
Rory: Fine.
Lorelai: I'd rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you.
Rory: I got it.
Lorelai: Don't stop me, I'm on a roll. I'd rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Ooh, I'd rather get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you.
Rory: Would you like me to drive so you can continue your diatribe?
Lorelai: Would ya? Thanks. I'd rather cut off my head and use it as a punch bowl than go to the club with you.

Lorelai: Wait, close your eyes and breathe. I smell snow.
Rory: Ah, it's that time of year.
Lorelai: Can't you smell it?
Rory: You know, it's like dogs and high-pitched noises. I think it's something only you can smell.
(Rory sits down next to Lorelai and pulls a blanket over the both of them)
Lorelai: I love snow.
Rory: Really, I had no idea.
Lorelai: Everything's magical when it snows, everything looks pretty. The clothes are great. Coats, scarves, gloves, hats.
Rory: Thermal underwear, wool socks, ear flaps.