Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes
Dear God Almighty Mr. Mirkle!</i> Lorelai
Luke: I forgot my toolbox, so I just thought I'd come pick it up.
Lorelai: Oh, yeah. It's right over here. Rory and I couldn't lift it or we would've brought it to you, and then we got used to having it here, so we named it Bert, and we'd say, "Good night, Bert," and it'd say, "Good night girls," and--we spend too much time home alone.
(Rachel picks up her luggage and walks out from behind the counter after Luke returns from the town meeting.)
Luke: (With a look of recognition) So you're leaving huh?
Rachel: (Resignedly) Yeah.
Luke: Were you even gonna tell me?
Rachel: I was waiting for you to get back so I could say goodbye.
Luke: (Starting to get annoyed) Yeah, you at least always do that. So go.
Rachel: (With a pleading expression) Don't you even want to know why?
Luke: I know why.
Rachel: I don't think you do.
Luke: It's just like all the other times Rachel. You're the anywhere but here girl, you're restless, you're bored, it is what it is.
Rachel: That's not it.
Luke: Then what is it? Is there another guy?
Luke: Then what?
Rachel: It's another girl.
Luke: (Spluttering in confusion) What? You're telling me...
Rachel: The other girl isn't for me Luke, it's for you.
Luke: (In a disbelieving tone) Okay. Now that's crazy.
Luke: You feel you need a different excuse this time to mix things up a little, fine. But you are not leaving because of me.
Rachel: I'm sure you tried Luke. But admit it, you're heart wasn't in it.
Luke: (Defensively) My heart was in it. I was here, I didn't leave. . . .(Confused) I don't get this.
Rachel: (Interjecting) Luke.
Luke: And what are you talking about, another girl? What other girl?
(Rachel stares at him meaningfully) Luke: (Finally realizing she means Lorelai) Oh Rachel, no, you don't mean. . . She and I are just friends. I told you that a thousand times.
Rachel: (Not letting him get away with denying it) No. You told it to me once. And you could barely get it out then.
Luke: (In a terribly unconvincing tone) Okay, this is crazy. You've got it wrong here. It's not. . .She and I are. . .uh. . .
Rachel: (Satisfied that she's finally adequately explained everything to Luke) I'm gonna go. I'll miss you. (she hugs him goodbye) Stay in touch.
Luke: (Pleading in a last ditch effort) Rachel, come on.
(Rachel walks to the door and stops. She turns around to look at Luke.)
Rachel: So don't wait too long okay?
Luke: To what?
Rachel: (Meaningfully) To tell her. (Rachel turns away and walks out of the diner leaving Luke staring into space alone.)
Max: I couldn't find a horse.
Lorelai: You didn't have to-
Max: Don't say anything, please. You were right last night, I shouldn't have proposed to you like that. It was stupid. It was the wrong place and the wrong time. I kicked myself the entire night for doing it. But you were wrong about something too. I didn't propose to you because we were fighting. I proposed because I love you. We're in a bad pattern Lorelai, and we have to break it. And other than that murder-suicide thing, which would be illegal and messy, I can only think to be impetuous.
Max: No listen, I woke up this morning and I realized that I studied and taught the great literature all my life. And those stories are replete with characters that let opportunities slip by, but what I teach is more than literature, it's lessons in life. If I don't follow these tenets, I'm not the man I thought I was, the man I want to be.
(Luke broke into Lorelai's house)
Luke: It's the kind of lock burglars go for.
Lorelai: How do you know?
Luke: It's easy to break. I proved that.
Lorelai: You proved that by...
Luke: Breaking in through the back door.
Max: So did you date Luke?
Lorelai: No, I did not date Luke.
Max: You can tell me.
Lorelai: I did not date Luke.
Max: There was a vibe.
Dean: (referring to Tristan) Your boyfriend's waiting.
Rory: He's not my boyfriend! I hate him!
Rory: Because I love you, you idiot!
Lorelai: I had the weirdest dream last night. We were in our house but it wasn't our house, it was a Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Rory: I'm hooked.
Lorelai: I had to get dressed but my clothes were in the back and the guy manning the giant oil vat would not let me through.
Rory: Oh my God that's so weird. When you said oil vat that just reminded me I had this dream last night. We were swimming in a pool, only it wasn't water it was like oil or honey or something.
Lorelai: You totally did the thing.
Rory: What thing?
Lorelai: The thing. Where one person is describing their dream and it reminds the other person about their dream and suddenly it's all about their dream and the first person is just standing there like 'Um, hey man what about my dream?'
Rory: I'm sorry. The oil vat guy was being mean...
Madeline: So I've decided I'm now completely into Judy Garland. Did you see the TV movie? Pretty intense.
Louise: I think they used my mother's medicine cabinet in that.
Madeline: She was the Courtney Love of her day.
Paris: Show me a trend and I'll show you Madeline.
Madeline: Judy Garland is trendy?
Louise: She was neo-addict retro chic.
Madeline: No one tells me these things
Lorelai: (trying to persuade Luke to try on a jacket) C'mon, just the jacket. Just once be too sexy for your shirt and do a little dance on the catwalk.
(Luke walks into the back of the diner while Lorelai chases him with the suit)
Luke: Get away from me you mental patient!
(to Lorelai) Don't take this the wrong way, but get out.Rory
Rory: So, Grandpa, what's new in the world today?
Richard: Well, as usual, it's going to hell in a handbasket.
Rory: It's nice to always have something you can count on.