Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes (Page 4)
Season 1 Episode 18: "The Third Lorelai"

Lorelai: There's food money on the table and I defrosted some yummy chocolate cake specially for you this morning, and I'll be home early, and did I forget anything?
Rory: Don't be mean to Grandma!
Lorelai: Yeah, yeah, broken record.
• Rating: Unrated
Lorelai: (about tea she had with Emily and Trix) Yeah well once you're done with those little sandwiches, there's not reason to pretend you like tea anymore.
• Rating: Unrated
Rory: What's up with you?
Lorelai: Nothing.
Rory: You've been ready and bugging me for almost an hour. Usually I have to drag you out of here kicking and screaming to go to dinner.
Lorelai: Now then.
Rory: You whine, you complain, you act like a child.
Lorelai: I do not.
Rory: I had to pay you five bucks once so you wouldn't go in sweats.
• Rating: Unrated
(after screwing up the computer)
Michel: I pushed nothing 'funky.'
Lorelai: You have the funk, my friend.
• Rating: Unrated
Emily (about Trix): Well I'd better get out there before she leaves me here.
Lorelai: I'm sure you'll be sorry to see her go.
Emily (sarcastically): Oh yes, I don't know what I'll do with myself.
• Rating: Unrated
Lorelai: Rory is an incredibly mature kid.
Trix: Oh I'm sure she is. It's you I'm worried about.
Lorelai : But -
Trix: (to Emily) And I'm sure she gets it from you.
Emily: But -
• Rating: Unrated
Trix: (to Emily and Lorelai after the were arguing) Raising your voice during high tea, who ever heard of such a thing. It's like Fergie all over again.
• Rating: Unrated
Paris: Read my manifesto, I want your thoughts.
Rory: First thought - lose the word 'manifesto.'
Paris: Too cabin-in-the-woods?
Rory: Don't open your mail.
Paris: Right.
• Rating: Unrated
(Reading the menu at the restaurant where she's having lunch with Emily and Trix)
Lorelai: Rose tea. That's funny. That's not really tea is it? It's like rose petals in hot water. More like a bad floral arrangement.
• Rating: Unrated
Paris: (about Rory and Tristan) You just seem weird around each other.
Rory: Nope, no weirder than usual.
Paris: I disagree.
Rory: You usually do.
• Rating: Unrated
Rory: Henry VIII started a new church when the old one wouldn't allow divorce.
Paris: He also cut off his wife's head. Is he still your role model?
• Rating: Unrated
Madeline: (about Paris) She does know this is a make believe government right?
Louise: You ask her, I'm afraid.
• Rating: Unrated
Rory: (about her great-grandmother) I hope she likes me.
Lorelai: She'll love you.
Rory: I hope she and Grandma get along.
Lorelai: She'll love you.
• Rating: Unrated
Lorelai: Mother, Grandma is a very old woman, I highly doubt that she's going to remember everything she ever bought you.
Emily: She will remember down to the very last shrimp fork and do you know why?
Lorelai: No. (to dogs) Do you guys know why?
Emily: Because she doesn't just give you a present, she 'gives' you a present and she tells you where to put it, how to use it, what it costs - for insurance purposes of course - and God forbid you should have a different opinion or you don't think it works in the space or you just get tired of waking up every morning with those horrifying animals staring at you!
Lorelai: (to the dogs) She's just upset.
Emily: Stop talking to the dogs!
• Rating: Unrated
Paris: I just wanted to tell you again that I had so much fun last night.
Tristan: Yeah, after five messages on my answering machine, I kinda got that impression.
• Rating: Unrated
Paris: God, this is so weird. I can't stop smiling.
Rory: Good, then it's a good time to talk about our over taxed peasants.
Paris: Oh, let them eat cake.
• Rating: Unrated
Lorelai: I have to change and go to tea with Gran and the cast of Gaslight.
• Rating: Unrated
Lorelai: (about Rory) It's not about what she would buy. I don't care if she buys a house or a boat or the elephant man's bones.
• Rating: Unrated
Sookie: (about Rory) Call her now. Ooh, page her, or page her and have her call my cell phone and we can sing the money song from 'Cabaret.' You be Liza, I'll be Joel.
Lorelai: I don't know.
Sookie: Hey I'm Joel.
• Rating: Unrated
(After Lorelai tells Sookie that Rory might get a lot of money from Trix but doesn't know it yet)
Sookie: Hi, for that much money you wake her up! You hire a singing telegram! Women jump out of cakes! People dress up like bankers and dance around with those toasters!
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Season 1 Quotes: 603
Total Gilmore Girls Quotes: 1108


