(to Lorelai) Don't take this the wrong way, but get out.


Dean: (Dean enters Kim's Antiques) Hello? Lane are you here?
Mrs. Kim: (Mrs. Kim pops out from behind a piece of furniture) Who are you? Why you call Lane? How you know her? You date her?
Dean: No.
Mrs. Kim: You try to?
Dean: No!
Mrs. Kim: Then why you here? Empty your pockets!
Dean: OK. I'm gonna go now.
Lane: Dean! Wait! Wait!
Mrs. Kim: Who's Dean?
Dean: I'm Dean.
Mrs. Kim: How you know Dean?
Lane: We go to school together.
Mrs. Kim: You do?
Dean: Yeah, we're science partners.
Mrs. Kim: (to Dean) You! Don't talk! (to Lane) Science partners?
Lane: Yes Mamma. I've invited him over to work.
Mrs. Kim: Work?
Lane: On our science project.
Mrs. Kim:(suspiciously) Reproduction?
Lane: Spores, molds and fungus.
Mrs. Kim: Science project?
Lane: Yes.
Mrs. Kim: For school? You're not dating?
Lane: No Mamma.
Mrs. Kim: Ok. Follow me.
(she leads them to the kitchen)
Mrs. Kim: (to Dean) You! Sit here! (to Lane) You! Sit here! I'm going there. When I come back these chairs will be in the same place. No moving! You understand? (she walks away but turns back to Lane and Dean) I see all!

Lorelai: Got a minute?
Dean: Actually I'm, uh..
Lorelai: I just want to tell you that I think you are scum.
Dean: Gee thanks.
Lorelai: You are gonna be hard pressed to find another girl as fantastic as Rory, you know that? She is beautiful and she is smart and she did not deserve to be treated that way by you.
Dean: Treated what way?
Lorelai: I thought you were a good guy. I thought you were going to make her happy. I'm such an idiot that I actually thought you were a good pick. But I was wrong and I hate to be wrong.
Dean: You know I am sick and tired of everyone blaming this thing on me. I mean you and the whole stupid town looking at me like I'm a criminal. I say "I love you" and she just sits there and I'm the jerk? I'm the bad guy?
Lorelai: What?
Dean: You know what? Fine, think what you want, I don't care. Just leave me alone.

(Luke is trying on clothes Lorelai bought him)
Luke: I hate you, very much!
Lorelai: Aww, save the sweet talk for Rachel.

Emily: She got home from school but she just went right upstairs. Now she didn't want a snack but I had Rosa make her one anyway. I haven't checked to see if she's eaten it. She had a decent breakfast this morning but she did seem a little tired and when I went into her bathroom the aspirin bottle was out so I assume she had a headache. Now I don't know if it was last night or...
Lorelai: Excuse me, Mr. Cosell. I appreciate the play by play but I just want to talk to my daughter now.
Emily: Do you want me to go in there with you?
Lorelai: More than anything.
Emily: Well try and be nice.
Lorelai: Thanks for the tip.

Rory: Why didn't you tell me you'd been talking?
Lorelai: Because it was too much like the whole Todd and Nevina Cutler thing.
Rory: The what?
Lorelai: When I was in junior high, I had a boyfriend, Todd something or other. Not a soul mate, but I was crazy about him and he dumped me. I was completely crushed and I could do nothing except lie around and cry and listen to Air Supply, very low point in my life. Two days after the breakup my best friend Nevina Cutler got back together with her boyfriend, Randy something or other, who had dumped her days before Todd dumped me. And she was so happy and gloaty and couldn't stop talking about how great it was that she had her boyfriend back that it made me feel horrible.
Rory: The end. Lets go.
Lorelai: Look, I didn't want to be Nevina Cutler, okay? You were so miserable about Dean. What was I supposed to do? Walk in and say, 'Sorry about you and Dean but I got Max back and aren't we happy.' Would that have been good?
Rory: That would've been great.

Lorelai: So, last time I saw you, you were headed home. You want to fill in the blanks?
Rory: I don't know. I just snapped and I got sick of everything. I wanted to go anywhere.
Lorelai: So you picked hell?

Lorelai: (sarcastically) Why so charming this morning?
Rory: I had an annoying visit from the Stars Hollow wake up fairy.

Rory: I just got scared and I sat there.
Lorelai: I understand. You know, I'm still learning this stuff too and since I'm still learning, I think I haven't thought enough about what I'm supposed to be teaching you.
Rory: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: I'm talking about my own personal lack of commitment skills. I mean, look, I love that you have my eyes and my coffee addiction and my taste in music and movies, but when it comes to love and relationships, I don't necessarily want you to be like me. I would hate to think that I raised a kid who couldn't say I love you.

(about the pants she's bought for Luke) I don't know what this fabric is, but I think I want to have its baby.


Lorelai: (Talking about what she has just found in Luke's shopping bag) Pot holders. Little kitty pot holders. (Pulls the tail) They meow.
Luke: It's a present.
Lorelai: For someone you hate?

Rory: Okay, guy number 3 is crossing the street right now.
Luke: Why am I looking?
Lorelai: Because it's like a train wreck.
Lorelai Aww, no!
Rory: Daddy!
Lorelai: Not Kirk!
Rory: Maybe he'll buy me a pony.
Lorelai: I wanna go back to the old guy.
(Kirk walks in the diner and Luke walks over to him)
Luke: Congratulations man.
Kirk: Uh, thank you.
(Lorelai and Rory start giggling)
Kirk: What?
Lorelai: Nothing
Kirk: Okay, did somebody put the kick me sign on my back again? It wasn't funny last week and it's not funny now! I have asthma.(He leaves the diner)
Rory: Mom, quick he's leaving!
Lorelai: Oh no, Kirk come back, I lo-o-o-ove you! Drat. All right, your turn.
Rory: I don't know Mom. You already got Kirk, how's a girl to top that.

Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes

Lorelai: Wait, close your eyes and breathe. I smell snow.
Rory: Ah, it's that time of year.
Lorelai: Can't you smell it?
Rory: You know, it's like dogs and high-pitched noises. I think it's something only you can smell.
(Rory sits down next to Lorelai and pulls a blanket over the both of them)
Lorelai: I love snow.
Rory: Really, I had no idea.
Lorelai: Everything's magical when it snows, everything looks pretty. The clothes are great. Coats, scarves, gloves, hats.
Rory: Thermal underwear, wool socks, ear flaps.

Lorelai: So, dinner, thoughts?
Rory: Let's have some.