Lorelai: Got a minute?
Dean: Actually I'm, uh..
Lorelai: I just want to tell you that I think you are scum.
Dean: Gee thanks.
Lorelai: You are gonna be hard pressed to find another girl as fantastic as Rory, you know that? She is beautiful and she is smart and she did not deserve to be treated that way by you.
Dean: Treated what way?
Lorelai: I thought you were a good guy. I thought you were going to make her happy. I'm such an idiot that I actually thought you were a good pick. But I was wrong and I hate to be wrong.
Dean: You know I am sick and tired of everyone blaming this thing on me. I mean you and the whole stupid town looking at me like I'm a criminal. I say "I love you" and she just sits there and I'm the jerk? I'm the bad guy?
Lorelai: What?
Dean: You know what? Fine, think what you want, I don't care. Just leave me alone.

Emily: (To Rory) Everything will be fine... Richard, say something encouraging.
Richard: Uh... Rory, I'm sorry you're upset, but I applaud your timing.

Lorelai: (about Dean) I warned him. I warned him when I first met him, if he hurt her...Ah. Maybe I could key his car.
Luke: Better yet. Key Taylor's car and tell him Dean did it.

Lorelai: (Talking about what she has just found in Luke's shopping bag) Pot holders. Little kitty pot holders. (Pulls the tail) They meow.
Luke: It's a present.
Lorelai: For someone you hate?

Paris: Just making an observation.
Rory: Great. We'll build a dome over you and jam a telescope in your head.

Rory: Okay, guy number 3 is crossing the street right now.
Luke: Why am I looking?
Lorelai: Because it's like a train wreck.
Lorelai Aww, no!
Rory: Daddy!
Lorelai: Not Kirk!
Rory: Maybe he'll buy me a pony.
Lorelai: I wanna go back to the old guy.
(Kirk walks in the diner and Luke walks over to him)
Luke: Congratulations man.
Kirk: Uh, thank you.
(Lorelai and Rory start giggling)
Kirk: What?
Lorelai: Nothing
Kirk: Okay, did somebody put the kick me sign on my back again? It wasn't funny last week and it's not funny now! I have asthma.(He leaves the diner)
Rory: Mom, quick he's leaving!
Lorelai: Oh no, Kirk come back, I lo-o-o-ove you! Drat. All right, your turn.
Rory: I don't know Mom. You already got Kirk, how's a girl to top that.

Rachel: Hi there.
Lorelai: Oh, hi. This isn't what it looks like.
Rachel: It looks like you're dressing him (Luke)
Lorelai: Oh... then it is what it looks like!

Lorelai: Okay, you've been in this mood for a week now, and while I love the unexpected ups and downs of motherhood, I've gotta say I miss my Goofus, and I want my Gallant back.
Rory: You can't just say a normal sentence right? Just 'Hey, lets talk' is too dull for you. (Lorelai grabs Rory)
Lorelai: Hey. Let's talk.

(Luke & Lorelai are in the storage room, talking about Rachel)
Lorelai: Do you wanna know what I think about this situation?
Luke: No.
Lorelai: Are you sure?
Luke: Look, if you're gonna tell me at least help me unload.
Lorelai: Can I use the fun cutter thingy?
Luke: Not if you call it the fun cutter thingy.
Lorelai: Please.
Luke: Cut the box, not your hand.
Lorelai: Good tip, you should teach. (She cuts open one box) Ha! Fun!
Luke: Talk.
Lorelai: Well, I don't know exactly what's going on in Rachel's head because I'm not a Vulcan, but from the way she talks about you and the way she smiles when your name comes up, I'm pretty sure that she's serious about staying in Stars Hollow this time.
Luke: Yeah, let me guess. Rachel told you she wanted to put down roots, that she's serious this time, that she's tired of the road, and realizes what's lacking in her nomadic existence.
Lorelai: She didn't use the phrase "nomadic existence", but basically yes, that's what she said.
Luke: I've heard the speech. I know the speech by heart.
Lorelai: Well, I think she means it this time.
Luke: You don't know her like I do.
Lorelai: I don't. But she seems sincere.
Luke: How do you know?
Lorelai: Her nose didn't grow.
Luke: Why are you taking her side?
Lorelai: I'm not taking her side.
Luke: Well it sounds like you're taking her side.
Lorelai: Well, wash out your ears, I'm not taking her side.
Luke: I mean you're practically pushing her on me.
Lorelai: I just want you to be happy.
Luke: And you know what makes me happy?
Lorelai: No, I just know that you've been carrying a torch for her for a really long time.
Luke: I have not been carrying a torch for her.
Lorelai: Well, you wanted this to happen.
Luke: How do you know what I wanted to happen?
Lorelai: Didn't you?
Luke: Yeah, I guess.
Lorelai: Okay. So here it is, right in front of you. Just take it. Take the plunge. She could be ready. Just jump in and believe her. Unless, you know, there's some other reason you don't want to.
Luke: Like what?
Lorelai: Like I... I don't know.
Luke: There's no other reason.
Lorelai: Okay, well, fine. Then there's no other reason.

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