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Glee

Puck [to Shelby]: Screw you. Sure you've got the boom and the pow, and your lips are cash money. But what really turned me on about you was how much of an asskicker you were, winning all those championships, going to New York. raising Beth on your own. All garbage. This was your chance to get in on the ground floor of something really special: me. But you're too much of a coward to go for it.

The advantage of a relationship with a younger dude is that I've still got four more rounds in me before I need a steak sandwich and a Coke Zero.

Puck

Why don't you hurry on to your next face-widening session at the John Travolta Institute for Head Thickening and Facial Weight Gain?

Sue [to Beiste]

Truth is, journal, I'm attracted to men. Sure, I can't stand watching them eat or talk, but when it comes to getting sexy, this gal's got a hole in her heart that only a fella can fill.

Sue

While there's nothing I'd love more than having two pretty ponies serenade me, I think we'd get further staging a gel-ervention for Blaine than singing lady music.

Santana

If elected, I'll have sugary treats available at all times. Helps with concentration. That's what George Washington said.

Brittany

When I get really pissed off, Santana gets taken over by my other evil personality. I call her Snix. Her wrath of words is called Snix juice.

Santana

My iPhone 5 is vibrating. That's a new feature of the iPhone 5, they vibrate now.

Sue

Where is Rachel? She never misses applause.

Artie
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