It’s really hard to be a straight white male these days.

Sam

I just got a haircut also, in case anybody was wondering.

Sam

What, I’m texting my publicist...That was a joke!

Rachel

It’s a towncar, not a limousine. A towncar!

Rachel

Are those meyer lemons? I can’t have that.

Rachel

Just like Pippin, I’m going to find my very own corner of the sky.

Blaine

Artie was mugged in the subway and now it’s like an episode of SVU over here.

Kurt

Do you have to use the SodaStream right now? Artie's in a very fragile state.

Kurt

Some people just don’t know how to screw things.

Sam

Did somebody die in here?

Sam

Sometimes it’s just easier if you just stay inside.

Sam

That sweater’s legit.

Puck

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.