First of all, I'm not cutting off none of my digits for some weekend booty.

Grover

I’m going to take that plastic sword and turn you into a Roman popsicle, OK.

Danny

You lied to your mother, who is in fact a liar herself.

Danny

Chin: What kind of thieves takes blood? Jerry: Vampires.

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It’s filthy, good grief; he must have killed the maid too.

Grover

There is a direct correlation with how far you walk to a crime scene, and how bad that crime scene is going to be.

Danny

You want to stay alive, give us the name. Great quote by Grover.

Steve: Sometimes when you speak, when your mouth opens and you speak, all I hear is "wa-wa-wa-wa." It's like I'm in a Charlie Brown cartoon only you're Linus, with better hair.
Danny: Why do I got to be Linus?

Besides, where else can a girl get a different flavor of Jell-O every night with her dinner?

Kono

Adam: This is one hell of a honeymoon, huh?
Kono: We have the rest of our lives for a honeymoon.

Jerry: So who's gonna say it?
Steve: You should say it.
Jerry: "X" marks the spot.

Steve: Listen, I appreciate your advice. I know you're trying to do me a favor, but could you please, please just stop talking. That's all.
Danny: If you want to be alone, you want to be miserable for the rest of your life, don't listen to me.
Steve: You are alone and you are always miserable, and that is exactly why I'm not listening to you, okay?

Hawaii Five-0 Quotes

I see what he's doing there. He's doing Jack Nicholson. And it's very appropriate too, because the last six years of my life has been sort of like "The Shining." Which is a film if you'd seen, you'd know, spends the whole movie torturing a young boy named Danny.

Danny

You delivered her to the congressman like a pizza.

Danny Williams