Wilson: Oh, sand art! I used to love this stuff!
House: He's bitter, not mentally handicapped.

Park: Not everyone is so lucky to have your independence.
Chase: Don't worry. When you lose your family, you'll have it too.

House: Short man equals bullied child.
Taub: I was never bullied.
Dr. Adams: Until now.

Cheerleaders are the best part of basketball. Without them, you just have...basketball.


While having you juggle my jewels sounds interesting, there's no such thing as friends with benefits. It always gets weird.

This is one of the symptoms of working for House. You start seeing zebras everywhere.


We met at the 98 Cent Store. We were reaching for the same tube of cheese.

Clinic patient

Or maybe he thinks you have more than one nondescript white blouse.


Let me know if you need anything. Like a transfer.


Ignore her. She's on acid.

Taub is either a tooth fairy or Rainbow Brite. And you're just House!


I may have misled James by letting him see a book on terminal cancer.


House Quotes

Taub: You know he just doesn't want to live in pain.
House: Life is pain! I wake up every morning in pain! Work is pain! You know how many times I just wanted to give up? How many times I've thought about ending it?

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.