Wilson: Oh, sand art! I used to love this stuff!
House: He's bitter, not mentally handicapped.

Park: Not everyone is so lucky to have your independence.
Chase: Don't worry. When you lose your family, you'll have it too.

House: Short man equals bullied child.
Taub: I was never bullied.
Dr. Adams: Until now.

Cheerleaders are the best part of basketball. Without them, you just have...basketball.

Chase

While having you juggle my jewels sounds interesting, there's no such thing as friends with benefits. It always gets weird.

This is one of the symptoms of working for House. You start seeing zebras everywhere.

Wilson

We met at the 98 Cent Store. We were reaching for the same tube of cheese.

Clinic patient

Or maybe he thinks you have more than one nondescript white blouse.

Park

Let me know if you need anything. Like a transfer.

Foreman

Ignore her. She's on acid.

Taub is either a tooth fairy or Rainbow Brite. And you're just House!

Park

I may have misled James by letting him see a book on terminal cancer.

Blythe

House Quotes

Do you know what bisexual means? It doesn't mean you have sex with two people at once.

Thirteen

You know another really good business? Teeny tiny baby coffins. You can get them in frog green or fire engine red. Really. The antibodies in yummy mummy only protect the kid for six months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive. Want to change things? Prove them wrong. A few hundred parents like you decide they'd rather let their kid die than cough up forty bucks for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop really fast.

House