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Wilson: Oh, sand art! I used to love this stuff!
House: He's bitter, not mentally handicapped.

Park: Not everyone is so lucky to have your independence.
Chase: Don't worry. When you lose your family, you'll have it too.

House: Short man equals bullied child.
Taub: I was never bullied.
Dr. Adams: Until now.

Cheerleaders are the best part of basketball. Without them, you just have...basketball.

Chase

While having you juggle my jewels sounds interesting, there's no such thing as friends with benefits. It always gets weird.

This is one of the symptoms of working for House. You start seeing zebras everywhere.

Wilson

We met at the 98 Cent Store. We were reaching for the same tube of cheese.

Clinic patient

Or maybe he thinks you have more than one nondescript white blouse.

Park

Let me know if you need anything. Like a transfer.

Foreman

Ignore her. She's on acid.

Taub is either a tooth fairy or Rainbow Brite. And you're just House!

Park

I may have misled James by letting him see a book on terminal cancer.

Blythe
Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 792 in total

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater. You can put your arms down.
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
Jill: Illegal?
House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
Jill: Playdates...
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.