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How-i-met-your-mother

Barney: Are you saying evil plan?
Quinn: Hells to the yes!

I was gonna say, and now the gentlemen bump fists. How long you been holding back that one?

Barney

I don't think I can do normal anymore.

Ted

Fine I'll fill her in and I am so angry I am not even going to make a joke about filling her in, which I did three times last night. Self five!

Barney

Don't say that whore's name in front of our baby!

Lily

Lily: I was once with a dude who couldn't even fantasize about a three-way. He was all, ooh she's your best friend!
Robin: What now?

Patrice: You seem so down today Robin, I made you cookies.
Robin: Patrice, stop smothering me!

Baby you're like twenty slutty chicks rolled into one.

Marshall
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