How I Met Your Mother Quotes
Lily: I'm not paying for room service The Hooker ordered.
Barney: I've been there.
Alright I'll take a lap dance. Can I borrow some sweatpants?
Barney
Barney: Our minister just died.
Robin: We can still use the church but we only have two days to find a new officiant.
Barney: Unless! Wedding at Bernie's!
Robin: We're not doing wedding at Bernie's!
Hey I have given up peeing in the shower for you!
Marshall
Reverend? More like Neverend. Prayer Five!
Barney
Every hookup at a weekend wedding is decided at Friday Night Drinks. Get stuck with the wrong girl, the only action you'll be getting all weekend is a self five and I don't mean the cool kind.
Barney
Loretta Stinson: You won the battle, but I'll win the war.
Robin: Game on bitch!
He's gotten really respectful with his fake listening.
Ted
Choose your wife, you always choose your wife.
Lily
Lily: Prove to me you can make a female friend. What about her?
Robin: Ugh the girl with the bangs? Any chick who does that to her hair is going through a big life transition I don't want to hear about. Next time grow your bangs long enough to cover your mouth. I'll pass.
Lily: Ok well what about her?
Robin: Ugh, comfortable shoes? What are you filibustering later? It's after five, put on some heels. I'll pass.
The Bro Code has been around for centuries. Nay, whatever's more than centuries.
Barney
Ted: So, you are mad about me and Robin holding hands.
Barney: Of course I'm mad Ted. Holding hands is like the fourth grade equivalent of banging. Well in your case, twelfth grade. Self five!
